Communication and Intimacy Chapter 4

Why Study Communication in a marriage and relationships class? Because: Good communication is related to good relationships and bad communication is related to bad relationships.

Chapter Overview I. Introductory “Quiz” II.Thought for the Week III.Dramatic Demonstrations IV. Communication in Marriage

I. Introductory Quiz

1. Men want conversation, emotional expression and self- disclosure. False

2. Men and women have their own dialects when speaking. True

3. Men’s social “talk” is often intended to establish dominance. True

4. People send subtle verbal and nonverbal messages to each other, no matter what they say or do, even when they aren’t consciously trying to. True

5. If the message is not being understood, it’s usually the listener’s fault. False

6. The only way to know whether the message you sent is what was received is to ask the other person what he or she heard. True

7. Listeners believe body language more than verbal language. True

8. Mixed messages come from poor communication skills, not a reluctance to be direct or honest. False

9. The more a man keeps marital problems from his wife, the greater the wife’s marital satisfaction. False

10. Great sex, financial security, and quality leisure time can overcome poor communication in a marriage. False

11. In order to improve a relationship, one must be willing to risk losing it. True

12. Interrupting a speaker means a person is listening attentively to what the speaker has to say. False

13. The goal of questions should be to better understand the other person. True

14. Spouses commonly perceive their partner’s deepest inner feelings without having to be told. False

15. Having two assertive people in a relationship is not recommended. False

II. Thought for the Week: Mind reading and wand waving are not offered in any college catalogue.

III. Dramatic Demonstrations A.Some Metaphors B.Draw a House C.Communication Channels D.Noise E.Consider the Following F.The “I feel” Statement

III. Dramatic Demonstrations A.Some Metaphors B.Draw a House C.Communication Channels D.Noise E.Consider the following F.The “I feel” Statement

III. Dramatic Demonstrations A.Some Metaphors: 1.Who is more active, the pitcher or the catcher? 2.Who is more active, the writer or the reader? 3.Who is more active, the speaker or the listener?

III. Dramatic Demonstrations A.Some Metaphors B.Draw a House C.Communication Channels D.Noise E.Consider the Following F.The “I feel” Statement

III. Dramatic Demonstrations A.Some Metaphors B.Draw a House C.Communication Channels D.Noise E.Consider the Following F.The “I feel” Statement

III. Dramatic Demonstrations A.Some Metaphors B.Draw a House C.Communication Channels 1.Verbal 2.Vocal 3.Visual or Body Language

III. Dramatic Demonstrations A.Some Metaphors B.Draw a House C.Communication Channels D.Noise E.Consider the Following F.The “I feel” Statement

III. Dramatic Demonstrations A.Some Metaphors B.Draw a House C.Communication Channels D.Noise: any stimulus that interferes with accurately expressing or understanding a message 1. Errors in Sending 2. Errors in Receiving

D.Noise 1.Errors in sending a.Meta-messages b.Interchannel inconsistencies c.Inappropriate context d.Lying: Consider the Following: 1) The Lying Black Feet and the Truthful White Feet. 2)What is a lie? 2.Errors in Receiving

2) What is a lie? a)The Truthful White Feet and the Lying Black Feet b)Definition of a lie.

D.Noise 1.Errors in sending 2.Errors in Receiving a.Interrupting b.Physical & Mental Unavailability c.Perspective

III. Dramatic Demonstrations A.Some Metaphors B.Draw a House C.Communication Channels D.Noise E.Consider the Following “Questions that Open Up Communication” By Gary and Joy Lundberg

III. Dramatic Demonstrations A.Some Metaphors B.Draw a House C.Communication Channels D.Noise E.Consider the Following F.The “I feel” Statement

IV. Communication in Marriage A.Gender socialization B.Power distribution C.Successful communication