Communication

Definition Exchange of information by two or more parties through a medium of transmittal such as writing, speaking, or signaling

How It Works Noise! … or doesn’t work

Three Types Verbal: expressed in spoken or written language Non-verbal: does not rely on the written or spoken word Virtual Synchronous takes place in real time, simultaneous Asynchronous takes place at different times Grrr…

THE KEY TO EFFECTIVE COMUNICATION

Active Listening

ACTIVE LISTENERS Maintain eye contact Are patient Focus on the topic Have an open mind Do not argue mentally Tune out distractions Lean forward and sit up straight

PASSIVE LISTENERS Slouch or lean back Look around Get frustrated easily Get angry at the speaker Daydream Prejudge Argue mentally

Interference Selective Listening Semantics The listener filters the message through a narrow set of expectations Semantics Meaning can change with the frame of reference May create a barrier to listening

Favorite Quote about Listening “I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.” (attributed to Robert McCloskey, U.S. State Department spokesman, by Marvin Kalb, CBS reporter, in TV Guide, 3/31/84, citing an unspecified press briefing during the Vietnam War)

To Listen Effectively Get your mind on the subject Anticipate Collect your thoughts, review, prepare and show up Anticipate Think ahead about where the talk is headed Recognize key ideas Listen for specific themes and main ideas

To Listen Effectively Be an aggressive and active listener Engage with the speaker Listen critically Approach subjects with an open mind Consider different viewpoints and ideas You never know what you may learn Don’t value wit and charm over wisdom Personality and humor are pluses, but do not substitute for content value

Core Listening Skills Evaluate the content, not the delivery Leave your emotions at the door Listen for what is not said Eliminate distractions Listen for major ideas Listen for key words Keep an open mind Stop talking

Find Out More! ITT Tech Virtual Library Self-Assessment Library: Working with Others Communication Skills “How good are my listening skills?” self-assessment Direct link: http://www.prenhall.com/sal_itt/wwo/q22.html

Difficult Conversations Require trust Safety Respect Acknowledgement Require mutual interest Common ground Win-win

To create a safe space Note when others withdraw or attack Both are responses to threat Note how you feel in response to others What makes you feel at risk? Note the effect you are having on others Diminish threat

To create a safe space Show respect for others Recognize your own challenges, weaknesses, or errors Consider other points of view with an open mind Check that you understand clearly Look for common interests and mutual benefits

To build trust Acknowledge feelings Never pretend they don’t show If you ignore your own emotional response or that of another, you damage trust

To build trust Accept criticism Evaluate its merit Choose to ignore it follow it or to take issue with it

Techniques Avoid generalizations: Always Never

Techniques Avoid characterization: You are…

Avoid “You” Statements Use “I” Statements You are always late You never do your share You messed up the presentation You’re a liar You don’t have a clue I feel stressed when you get here 20 minutes after the time we agreed to meet I was worried about our group grade when everyone else did four slides and you only did one I felt hurt and angry when you blamed me for the error Techniques

Quiz! Which statement on the right is NOT really an “I” statement? I feel stupid when I ask you to explain what you mean and you just roll your eyes and don’t answer me I feel disrespected when you call me pipsqueak I feel that you are an idiot Which statement on the right is NOT really an “I” statement?

Quiz! Which statement on the right is NOT really an “I” statement? I feel stupid when I ask you to explain what you mean and you just roll your eyes and don’t answer me I feel disrespected when you call me pipsqueak I feel that you are an idiot False “I” statements are just disguised “You” statements and do the same damage

Peer Review Giving feedback Ask before offering Be mindful of environment Be specific Identify strengths, not just what is wrong Give suggestions for improvement and helpful references to course content

Peer Review Receiving feedback Let peers know if the timing or location doesn’t work for you Assume all have your best interest at heart Be open to input and non-defensive Ask questions if you are unclear Ask how you could have done things differently