Parenting Theories John B. Watson – early 1900s What do we remember him from? Warned parents not to kiss, cuddle, or rock their children and to put them on strict schedules for feeding, sleeping and toilet training Physical punishment was used by parents and teachers Children were seen as impulsive beings who needed a strict regiment and punishments to train them into being good citizens

Sigmund Freud Related early life experiences to adult mental health encouraged a new view on child development and the effects of parenting

Dr. Benjamin Spock - 1946 Commonsense theories Opening line was “Trust Yourself” Believed that parents knew more about parenting than they thought Supported parents and counteracted the strict schedules and training ideas Influenced the movement to abolish physical punishment Some people found his advice too permissive He learned and adjusted through the years (wrote books for single parents, divorced parents etc.) Emphasized that parents should teach morals and values and should expect respect Many of his underlying theories are still used today

Distinction between discipline and punishment Discipline involves providing examples, guidance, encouragement and rules so that children learn what is acceptable and WHY while being caring Punishment is reactive and a penalty for wrong doing

Rudolph Dreikurs Rudolph Dreikurs and Vicki Soltz wrote a child rearing book in 1964 Provided a step by step program for coping with childhood problems Dreikurs identified 4 goals of misbehaviour Attention seeking Power seeking Revenge seeking Displaying inadequacy Suggested that parents catch children being good, offer choices, look for and reinforce positive behaviour, stay out of the power struggles and offer encouragement His theories have been very influential

Children seem to know how to manipulate parents to get a specific response. If parents can anticipate these goals they can sidestep conflict and the child is treated with dignity and respect. Use strategies to encourage positive behaviour instead of waiting until confronted by misbehaviour

Diane Baumrind - 1971 Identified and described various parenting styles Authoritarian Permissive Authoritative (democratic) Conducted experiments and found 1 to be the most effective Authoritative

Barbara Coloroso Same idea as Baumrind – created more “user friendly names” Brick Wall Families (Authoritarian) Jellyfish Families (Permissive) Back-bone Families (Authoritative) Discusses how physical punishment hurts a child’s dignity and it teaches children that if you are bigger you can hit She recommends creating consequences that are: Reasonable (fits the problem) Simple Valuable as a learning tool Practical Ex. A child who is grounded for two weeks because he or she slammed the door and broke the glass is not reasonable or practical, nor does it solve the problem or teach the child anything. The child who is expected to clean up the glass and replace the window has solved the problem and learns not to slam a door in anger. Personal story

Find examples of each style of parent from TV or movies Authoritarian (Brick Wall) Permissive (Jellyfish) Authoritative (Back-bone) Be prepared to share your examples with the class

Importance of Democratic Parenting Democratic parents are generally self-confident, relaxed, but firm in their management Consistently set limits and are clear on expectations Children are responsible members of a social group who need clear guidelines Explanations help children understand and accept limits and consequences Children develop self-control and self-worth Requires a lot of thought and effort but maintains the dignity of both parent and child

Communication Communication in any relationship is key Allows children to voice their opinions and their feelings and help to understand themselves and others Makes children feel valued Don’t have to ask for their permission but it’s important to ask how they feel Encourages cooperation and active listening and allows opportunities to teach problem solving skills