Bullying

W HAT IS BULLYING ? Bullying is unwanted, aggressive behavior among school aged children that involves a real or perceived power imbalance. The behavior is repeated, or has the potential to be repeated, over time. Bullying includes actions such as making threats, spreading rumors, attacking someone physically or verbally, and excluding someone from a group on purpose.

Normal Conflict Versus Bullying Equal power; friendsvs.Imbalance of power; not friends Happens occasionallyvs.Repeated negative actions Accidentalvs.Purposeful Not seriousvs. Serious—threat of physical harm or emotional or psychological hurt Equal emotional reactionvs.Strong emotional reaction on part of the victim Not seeking power or attention vs.Seeking power, control Not trying to get somethingvs.Trying to gain material things or power Remorse—takes responsibility vs.No remorse—blames victim Effort to solve problemvs.No effort to solve problem Marla Bonds, Psy.D, Sally Stoker M.SW, Bully Proofing Your School,Pg 104

I MPACT OF B ULLYING 60% of boys identified as bullies have a criminal record by the time they are 24 yrs. old 1 out of 4 students reports being bullied Bullying occurs once every 7 minutes 10% of students dropout due to repeated bullying

I MPACT OF B ULLYING 160,000 students missed school each day due to fear of bullying. The 2013 YRBS 20% of students in grades experienced bullying 1 out of 5 students report avoiding the bathroom at school because they fear being bullied

I MPACT OF B ULLYING Interpersonal violence is the second leading cause of death ages 15 to 24. In extreme cases, “bullying” has been named as the cause of both student suicide and student homicide

T HE R OLES K IDS P LAY Kids who Bully : These children engage in bullying behavior towards their peers. Kids who are Bullied: These children are the targets of bullying behavior. Some factors put children Kids who Assist: These children may not start the bullying or lead in the bullying behavior, but serve as an "assistant" to children who are bullying

T HE R OLES K IDS P LAY Kids who Reinforce: These children are not directly involved in the bullying behavior but they give the bullying an audience. Outsiders: These children remain separate from the bullying situation. They neither reinforce the bullying behavior nor defend the child being bullied. Kids who Defend: These children actively comfort the child being bullied and may come to the child's defense when bullying occurs.

T RAITS OF A T ARGET Physically weaker than peers Physically ineffective in play, sports and fights Lack physical coordination Cautious Quiet, withdrawn or passive Easily upset, emotional Don’t tease, not aggressive Poor to good academic performance Typically boys

T RAITS OF A BULLY Bullies enjoy dominating people Bullies use other people for self gain Bullies do no see other people’s side Bullies are concerned only with their own wants and pleasures Bullies hurt others when adults are not watching

T RAITS OF A BULLY Bullies view weaker students as prey Bullies blame, accuse and criticize others to cover up for their own faults Bullies do not accept responsibilities for their actions Bullies do not see long term consequences of their behavior Bullies crave attention

K IDS W HO ARE B ULLIED Kids who are bullied can experience negative physical, school, and mental health issues. Kids who are bullied are more likely to experience: Depression and anxiety increased feelings of sadness and loneliness, changes in sleep and eating patterns, and loss of interest in activities they used to enjoy. Health complaints Decreased academic achievement They are more likely to miss, skip, or drop out of school.

K IDS W HO B ULLY O THERS Kids who bully are more likely to: Abuse alcohol and other drugs Get into fights, vandalize property Attend school less frequently / more like to drop out Be abusive toward their romantic partners

B ULLYING CAN BE : DIRECT Face to face Verbal Insults, putdowns, teasing, harassment Physical Shoves, pushes, hitting, assault Psychological Rolling eyes, dirty looks, uttering threats, extortion

B ULLYING CAN BE : Relational Aggression Telling people not to be friends with a victim INDIRECT Behind someone ’ s back Exclusion Leaving out Shunning Gossip Lowering people ’ s opinion About the victim

T YPES OF BULLYING Verbal bullying is saying or writing mean things. Teasing Name-calling Inappropriate sexual comments Taunting Threatening to cause harm

T YPES OF BULLYING Social bullying, sometimes referred to as relational bullying, involves hurting someone’s reputation or relationships. Leaving someone out on purpose Telling other children not to be friends with someone Spreading rumors about someone Embarrassing someone in public

T YPES OF BULLYING Physical bullying involves hurting a person’s body or possessions. Hitting/kicking/pinching Spitting Tripping/pushing Taking or breaking someone’s things Making mean or rude hand gestures

C OULD Y OU B E A B ULLY ? Some people deserve to be made fun of. Making fun of others doesn’t hurt them. I enjoy feeling more powerful than others. I can make kids and adults do what I want. People push me around so I’m going to do it to others. I feel better about myself when I make others feel bad If kids are afraid of me, they won’t pick on me. I do what it takes to be part of the popular crowd. Being mean is no big deal.

W HERE IS THE P OWER TO S TOP B ULLYING ?

BYSTANDERS Who are They? 85% of students are bystanders-neither the victim nor the bully Power to stop bullying lies with the bystanders May feel guilty or helpless for not standing up to the bully on behalf of the victim Fear reporting bullying incidents because the don’t want to be called a “snitch” May feel unsafe, unable to take action or feel a loss of control

S TRATEGIES FOR B YSTANDERS Refuse to join. Walk away when bullies are acting up. Distract the bully so he or she stops the bullying behavior. Report any bullying you see. Speak out. Stand beside the bully’s target. Work with others to reduce bullying.