EMERGING FINDINGS

Context Seven groups so far Full analysis not yet complete so these are impressions Ages of children ranged from 11- late 40’s (although teen years are when it mostly began) For a significant number of parents, there was a background of domestic violence Far more mothers than fathers and many single parents Significant majority took a long time to find help

Barriers to finding support Lack of awareness of family support groups Lack of awareness of drugs / signs Didn’t think it would happen to them Stigma and shame – including from own family members

First disclosures No clear pathways taken by most. First professionals included: GP (most popular); police (prompted by criminal act or from desperation);. internet (especially Frank) Looking for sign-posting, reassurance, a shoulder to cry on and practical strategies on arguing, avoiding conflict etc. Some parents asked for help for behaviour difficulties rather than substance use ‘Support is needed at the beginning when trouble is just brewing rather than further down the line when it’s more extreme’ ‘Emotional support from someone neutral’ ‘Someone to say ‘it’s not your fault’’ ‘I was looking for strategy more than anything’

Negative experiences of seeking support Confidentiality issues General feeling of failure of services / not listening Lack of partnership work / joined up services Lack of empathy

Specific examples given of negative responses from: Social Services Church Police Probation Hospital staff GP YOT Psychiatrists Al-Anon BUT…..

Positive experiences of support Parent Support Groups Police GPs Ambulance staff and paramedics Social Services AA Counselling Church

Types of help that are valued Welcoming atmosphere Feeling of acceptance rather than judgement Meeting others and sharing of experiences Being able to be honest and not have to worry about shocking others A space to think about themselves Reassurance re. their perspective Encouragement to stick with boundaries Reducing isolation To be treated as a concerned and loving family member and not the cause of the problem / acknowledgement that they’re trying their best

What changes would parents recommend? More PSGs needed (very popular) See schools involved more and signposting for families. ‘Show them this side of the nightmare’ More powers for police More money for trained drug and alcohol workers Less stigma / judgement from professionals ‘Important there’s an acknowledgement that behaviours shown by teenagers aren’t always the fault of parents’ Leaflets on drug/alcohol don’t have section for families Listen to carers ‘Give absolute respect to anyone who is caring for somebody who is a user’ ‘Listen to us – we will give you the truth’

Some initial / tentative analysis Many factors are very similar to IPV but… Not naming it as abuse / domestic violence Unwilling to involve CJS Parent-child bond seen as unbreakable / still taboo to admit not liking your child Huge amounts of shame, stigma and self-blame Lack of information / advice Risk not recognised by professionals Seems to have a particular type of pain for fathers For some (not all) an event between ages seems to have been the starting point Difficulties in distinguishing between ‘normal’ teen angst / moodiness and a serious problem