© 2003 By Default! A Free sample background from Slide 1 “Wait till you hear what I heard “ What is Gossip? Why is gossip wrong? January 2 - PM

© 2003 By Default! A Free sample background from Slide 2 Gossip We joke about it Famous drawing by Norman Rockwell

© 2003 By Default! A Free sample background from Slide 3 You know what is coming: “Wait till you hear what I heard” “Wait till you hear what I heard” “Don’t tell her I told you” “Don’t tell her I told you” “I am not sure about this but I think” “I am not sure about this but I think” “Do you know what she said about you?” “Do you know what she said about you?” Gossip is a sin Gossip is a sin – –What is Gossip? – –Why is it a sin?

© 2003 By Default! A Free sample background from Slide 4 Gossip is a Sin Several biblical terms used – talebearer is the most commonly found Several biblical terms used – talebearer is the most commonly found Proverbs 18:8 - Proverbs 18:8 - The words of a talebearer are like tasty trifles, And they go down into the inmost body. 3 levels – 3 levels – –Rumors –Hurtful, spite, hateful –Secret, private, intimate details

© 2003 By Default! A Free sample background from Slide 5 Gossip – Good / Bad “It seems to me that there is good gossip and there is bad gossip and which KIND it is largely determined by the intent of the gossiper. If the intent is to malign and demean then it is bad gossip. If the intent is to inform and we believe the information will lead to understanding, then it is good gossip.” From a sermon by Peter House “It seems to me that there is good gossip and there is bad gossip and which KIND it is largely determined by the intent of the gossiper. If the intent is to malign and demean then it is bad gossip. If the intent is to inform and we believe the information will lead to understanding, then it is good gossip.” From a sermon by Peter House

© 2003 By Default! A Free sample background from Slide 6 Gossip is Wrong Because – It destroys reputations Ecclesiastes 7:1 - Ecclesiastes 7:1 - A good name is better than precious ointment, And the day of death than the day of one’s birth; 1 Samuel 18:30b - 1 Samuel 18:30b - David behaved more wisely than all the servants of Saul, so that his name became highly esteemed.

© 2003 By Default! A Free sample background from Slide 7 Gossip is Wrong Because – It destroys reputations The NT also places emphasis on a good name The NT also places emphasis on a good name – –Acts 6:3 – “men of good reputation” – –Acts 10:22 – Cornelius – –Acts 22:12 – Ananias A good name takes years to build and a few seconds to destroy

© 2003 By Default! A Free sample background from Slide 8 Gossip is Wrong – Even of the information is true Some think the defense of gossip is – “It is the truth.” Some think the defense of gossip is – “It is the truth.” Proverbs 11:13 - Proverbs 11:13 - A talebearer reveals secrets, But he who is of a faithful spirit conceals a matter. Ecclesiastes 3:7b - A time to keep silence, And a time to speak;

© 2003 By Default! A Free sample background from Slide 9 Gossip is Wrong – Even of the information is true Proverbs 10:19a - Proverbs 10:19a - In the multitude of words sin is not lacking, Proverbs 20:10 Proverbs 20:10 - He who goes about as a talebearer reveals secrets; Therefore do not associate with one who flatters with his lips. If they talk about others to you, they will talk about you to others.

© 2003 By Default! A Free sample background from Slide 10 Gossip is Wrong – Even of the information is true Proverbs 25:9-10 – Proverbs 25:9-10 – 9 Debate your case with your neighbor, And do not disclose the secret to another; 10 Lest he who hears it expose your shame, And your reputation be ruined.

© 2003 By Default! A Free sample background from Slide 11 Gossip is Wrong – Even of the information is true “She has 3 children” – not gossip “She has 3 children” – not gossip “She has 3 children. One is away at college.” – not gossip “She has 3 children. One is away at college.” – not gossip “She has 3 children. One is in jail on drug charges.” - Gossip “She has 3 children. One is in jail on drug charges.” - Gossip

© 2003 By Default! A Free sample background from Slide 12 Gossip is Wrong Because– It unfairly pre-judges Matthew 7:1 - Matthew 7:1 - Judge not, that you be not judged. Gossip only gets one side of the story

© 2003 By Default! A Free sample background from Slide 13 Gossip is Wrong Because– Protects Sources More than the Victim “A reliable source said” “I can’t tell you who told me” These are usually a good sign that you should not listen to this person.

© 2003 By Default! A Free sample background from Slide 14 Gossip is Wrong Because– Violates the Rule of Love “We should put the best possible interpretation on what is said or done.” Follow the Golden Rule – Matthew 7:12 The rule of love – 1 Corinthians 13

© 2003 By Default! A Free sample background from Slide 15 Gossip is Wrong Because– Ignores Context Almost any statement can be taken out of its context and made to say something not intended by the speaker Most gossip starts this way

© 2003 By Default! A Free sample background from Slide 16 Gossip is Wrong Because– It is Self-Motivated The gossiper often seeks to make others look worse so they won’t look so bad. 2 Corinthians 10:12 2 Corinthians 10:12 - For we dare not class ourselves or compare ourselves with those who commend themselves. But they, measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise.

© 2003 By Default! A Free sample background from Slide 17 Gossip is Wrong Because– Disobeys God Leviticus 19:16 Leviticus 19:16 - You shall not go about as a talebearer among your people; nor shall you take a stand against the life of your neighbor: I am the LORD. Psalm 15:1-3 Psalm 15:1-3 – 1 LORD, who may abide in Your tabernacle? Who may dwell in Your holy hill? 2 He who walks uprightly, And works righteousness, And speaks the truth in his heart; 3 He who does not backbite with his tongue, Nor does evil to his neighbor, Nor does he take up a reproach against his friend;

© 2003 By Default! A Free sample background from Slide 18 Gossip is Wrong Because– Disobeys God Ephesians 4:31 – Evil speaking Ephesians 4:31 – Evil speaking Titus 3:1-2 Titus 3:1-2 – Speak evil of no one James 4:11 James 4:11 – Do not speak evil of a brother

© 2003 By Default! A Free sample background from Slide 19 Some Observations: Before you speak – ask three questions: 1. 1.Is it true? 2. 2.Is it necessary? 3. 3.Will it help? Real compassion acts, gossip just sits on the tongue. Real compassion acts, gossip just sits on the tongue.

© 2003 By Default! A Free sample background from Slide 20 Some Observations: I am either part of the problem OR part of the solution. I am either part of the problem OR part of the solution. Do not listen to the gossip of others – – –Say to them, “I am afraid that would get into gossip.” – –Call it what it is – and they will stop – –Gossipers can only gossip if others will listen

© 2003 By Default! A Free sample background from Slide 21 Conclusion: Do not get started in this vicious habit of gossiping Do not get started in this vicious habit of gossiping It starts in the heart – Matthew 15:19 It starts in the heart – Matthew 15:19 Proverbs 26:20 - Proverbs 26:20 - Where there is no wood, the fire goes out; And where there is no talebearer, strife ceases.