Comparative Essay Recommendations 2015

You are in charge of your own writing. As seniors, you are ready to take responsibility for your own growth as a writer. This involves three things:  Knowing your strengths and weaknesses  Knowing where the bar is set:  knowing the rubric  Taking action to improve your writing:  setting goals, working to achieve those goals, reflecting based on feedback, and setting new goals  putting in the time I can coach you, but only you can do it.

My Recommendations – Argument:  Thesis must be a strong argument answering how and why/so what? Without a good thesis you will not be able to build a clear argument in your essay. Think deep and narrow, not broad and undefined.  Plan:  organize your ideas with an outline before writing.  Each section of your paper (not each paragraph) MUST begin with a clear sub-argument helping prove your main argument.  Put the author in your argument. Be aware of the works as crafted by an author throughout your essay

My Recommendations – Context & Logic  Provide clear context for every piece of support.  Introduce characters the first time you mention them – this can be done very briefly  explain what is happening and when  Use clear lead-ins for every quotation providing context. Someone who has not read the work should still understand your essay.  Transitions:  Use meaningful and natural (not formulaic) transitions to guide the reader through your argument. Otherwise you are left with a collection of fragmented thoughts, not a persuasive well- crafted argument.

My Recommendations -- Support  USE your support. Don’t support drop (put in support, then move on) or simply paraphrase your support instead of analyzing it.  You’ve chosen these quotations for a reason. Explore them/interpret them/analyze them fully.  Don’t use more of the quotation than you need.  Using long sections of text is rarely necessary. However, the meaning of what you quote must be clear. Often you can integrate part of a quotation into a sentence.

My Recommendations – Introductions and Style  Introductions: Avoid opening with vague and general sentences not clearly connected to the works or your argument. Use your introduction to clearly and concisely…  introduce the work(s) and any characters mentioned in the thesis;  define terms;  state your thesis.  Use active voice rather than passive.  Edit your writing to achieve conciseness…cut, cut, cut!!  Read aloud. Does it sound clear? If not, revise until it does.

Essay Structure  Main Thesis: must be making a strong argument…not just a statement or observation.  Paragraph after intro begins with the first point you will argue to prove your main thesis. Lead-in (providing context) + quotation, then ANALYZE/DISCUSS the quotation (not just paraphrase) to prove this point. Continue until finished.  If you change topics or works, begin a new paragraph.  When finished arguing point one, begin a paragraph with your NEXT point you’ll argue to prove your main thesis. Lead-in (context) + quotation, then ANALYZE/DISCUSS the quotation to prove this point. Continue until finished.

Literary Terms  Use proper terms when discussing conventions. Don’t be careless. Understand what you are writing about.  Use literary terms correctly and be consistent. If you call something a symbol, you need to  1. Make sure it is really a symbol, and  2. If it is, keep calling it a symbol rather than switching between symbol, motif and metaphor.

Thesis Examples  Strong: Schlink uses Michael and Hanna’s conflict with the past in The Reader to create an atmosphere full of regret for what could have been done, while Chekhov employs Lopakhin and Trofimov’s conflict with the past in The Cherry Orchard to develop a mood of hope for the present and the future.  Not yet a strong argument: Bernhard Schlink and Anton Chekhov control the reader’s and audience’s sympathy by revealing background information about certain characters in The Reader and The Cherry Orchard. So what? Not a clear argument. Control sympathy in what way?

More Thesis Examples  Strong: In both works, these vastly different characters struggle with their guilty pasts; however, both authors eventually resolve this tension as the characters realize they can accept the past even if they can never truly move on, creating a feeling of resolution for the reader and audience.  Statement, not argument: Chekhov and Schlink both use indirect characterization to evoke sympathy for main characters and their morally ambiguous motive and actions, whether it is through the use of monologues in The Cherry Orchard or narration in The Reader.

Avoid Passive Voice. Besides leading to wordiness, it takes the authors out of your argument.  Through Liubov’s tone when talking about the orchard, the audience is provided with an insight into …. Better (active voice): Chekhov uses Liubov’s tone when talking about the orchard to provide the audience with an insight into…  When Hanna is revealed to have been a concentration camp guard… Better (active voice): When Schlink reveals the information that Hanna was a concentration camp guard…

Evaluation & Conclusion  Evaluation:  Only needed on the Paper 2 essay, not the written assignment  Strong example:  Conclusion should draw everything together and answer “So what?” rather than simply restating what you have already said.

If you have trouble identifying passive voice, wordiness, or other style issues in your writing…  Use Word’s Grammar and Style function Word :  Click on “File" tab  Select "Options" on left hand side of screen  Select "Proofing" on left hand side of screen  Under 3rd option, "When correcting spelling and grammar in Word", look for "Writing Style." Next to it is a dropdown box that says "Grammar Only." Change to "Grammar and Style". Then click "Settings." (Look through list of style and grammar errors and check off those you want it to mark.) Older Word: Grammar and Style: Options  In both cases, check boxes for problems you are having (passive voice, wordiness, etc.)

Transitions: The Glue That Holds Your Paper Together And helps your reader follow the logic of your argument

Transitions  Establish logical connections between sentences, paragraphs, sections of paper  Key to good transitions: they highlight connections between corresponding paragraphs by referencing relevant material from previous ones  Often only takes a few words to draw these connections  Readers need stepping stones/sign posts to follow your logic

Weak transitions  Do not clarify the logic of your argument  Often these are formulaic:  Overall  In conclusion  For example  On the other hand  To summarize  Therefore  In this way  Hence  Thus  For instance  In addition

Examples ORIGINAL: Gayev represents the upper-class’s denial of its gradual decline during the early 1900s forty years after the abolition of serfdom. His assertion that the “peasants love” him shows that he is still immersed in the idealism of old Russia. In addition, in the second chapter of The Reader, as Michael recalls how he dreamed “in later years” about the building on Bahnhofstrasse…. REVISED: Schlink also shows a character immersed in the past through an early digression in The Reader. Michael recalls how he dreamed “in later years” about the building on Bahnhofstrasse….

 ORIGINAL: By including the bookcase in this scene, Chekhov emphasizes Gayev’s mood of nostalgia for the past; despite the many injustices that occurred, he still sees it as overwhelmingly positive. Similarly, Schlink uses specific diction when Michael describes the setting of the former concentration camp… REVISED: Schlink also uses elements of setting to convey his character’s feeling about the past. Schlink uses specific diction when Michael describes the setting of the former concentration camp….

Types of Transitions  Transition words or phrases: All the way from “and” and “but” to “nevertheless” and “on the other hand”: but don’t just stick them in…make sure they clarify logic of argument  Repetition of key words and phrases: these can help the reader move from one paragraph to the next and one sentence to the next  Pronoun reference: pronouns naturally connect ideas because they refer to something earlier in the text. BUT: it must always be VERY CLEAR what the pronoun refers to. Otherwise it is an UNCLEAR PRONOUN REFERENCE (U.P.R.)

Integrating Quotations  Lead-ins MUST provide clear context and must avoid run- ons and comma splices. CORRECT THE ERRORS  Schlink uses another juxtaposition in a setting when Michael goes to visit Hanna in prison, “But the building was new and bright, and in the inner area the doors were open, allowing the women to move about freely…”(Schlink 195).  When Hanna finally learns to write and reads books about concentration camps, the reader begins to feel sympathy for her again, “Illiteracy is dependence

Be Concise  Vigorous writing is concise.  A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a paragraph no unnecessary sentences, for the same reason that a drawing should have no unnecessary lines and a machine no unnecessary parts.  Make every word count.

Wordy Concise  the question as to whether vs. whether  there is no doubt but that vs. no doubt  used for fuel purposes vs. used for fuel  he is a man who vs. he  in a hasty manner vs. hastily  this is a subject which vs. this subject  His story is a strange one. vs. His story is strange.

How to Improve Conciseness  Read your paper aloud and listen. If it sounds confusing, it is, and probably because you are not being concise.  Some students are able to be more clear and concise when writing by hand or when speaking aloud. If this applies to you, write your draft by hand rather than typing it, or use Dragon Dictation with the iPad to dictate your paper.

Grammar and Punctuation errors you should no longer be making…  Fragments  Comma splices  Incorrect apostrophe use (not knowing the difference between possessives and plurals)  Run-ons  If you are making these errors and want to learn how to correct them, go to Purdue OWL or University of North Carolina Writing Center and learn how to correct them (linked to my web page).

Other Common Problems to Work On  Incorrect semicolon use  Incorrect verb tense (use present tense in lit. papers)

Reflection and Goal Setting  In comparison to your last essay, is your grade better or worse? Why do you think this is?  What was challenging about this essay?  What went well in this essay?  What could you have done even better?  Based on the feedback you received, what are your goals for your Written Assignment, and how will you know if you have achieved them?