DEFINING ELABORATION Lesson 1

Elaboration: the support or development of an idea with Facts Statistics Descriptive details Dialogue Incidents or anecdotes Examples and/or definitions Quotations *TELL YOUR READER MORE*

What does elaboration look like? Phrases that add information and details through the following: ANECDOTE- an anecdote is a small piece of a story inserted into an essay that helps make the point. This sounds like... Hey, I remember the time when I had to carry my... Once when I was in middle school, the kids would always... Lesson 1

Develop your point with an anecdote. Student sample You can’t give up, Jack. I remember one time when I played on the high school baseball team. We were losing, and it was the 8 th inning. Everyone was getting discouraged, and then the coach said, “BOYS! You’ve got to RALLY here! Turn your ball caps around and GET OUT THERE!” So, son, turn your ball cap – I mean ATTITUDE -- around and get out there! Lesson 1

ANECDOTES Do you remember any teacher who told lots of stories as they were teaching? Or parents who told stories about “when they were young”? This is an effective way to make or develop a point. Share some with your classmates. Lesson 1

What does elaboration look like? Phrases that add information and details through the following: EXAMPLES - provide more specific information about something. This sounds like... The cats were all acting like they were crazy. For example, one jumped at me with all … We had an barrage of different weather last week: hail, rain, snow, and sunshine. My brothers always seem to pick on me. For instance, they may hide my soccer shoes, not answer the phone. Lesson 1

Develop your point with an example. Student Sample The game of golf can be played for an entire lifetime and also by yourself. People of any age can go out and play a round of golf whenever they want as opposed to team sports. For example, football, soccer, and volleyball take an entire team of people to play. How many times are you going to call up ten or more of your friends and go play sports? Lesson 1

What does elaboration look like? Phrases that add information and details through the following: DEFINITION - a way to restate an unfamiliar word or tell what it means The best part of our hot lunch program is the Ala Carte. What I mean by Ala Carte is the little deli line past the lunch line where you can buy cookies, slushies, and candy bars. Lesson 1

Develop your point with a definition. Student sample One of the best programs that our school has is something called Brainworks. Brainworks is an after-school program where kids go and do their homework. They even let you work on the computers there. I like it a lot because the lady who runs the program keeps everyone pretty quiet. At my house, I have 6 little brothers and sisters and there is never a quiet place to work. Lesson 1

What does elaboration look like? Phrases that add information and details through the following: STATISTICS and FACTS - the numbers or data that help support your idea. Mom, did you know that 98% of all my friends get to stay up until 1:00 AM on weekends? Well Son, did you know that 3 out of 4 parents would have grounded you for staying out so late? Lesson 1

Develop your point with facts and statistics. Student Sample Another craze to sweep America was the low-carb diet. It was reported in the newspaper after the last holiday season that 67% of all Americans were low-carb dieting. Let me tell you the personal impact that has had on my family’s wheat farm here in Washington. Lesson 1

STATISTICS and FACTS – your turn Statistics in a WASL paper can be made up by you, the writer! Be creative and think of what statistics would convince the audience. Talk to a partner and come up with a statistic about school, e.g., number of football games won, number of friendly teachers, amount of time wasted in class. Lesson 1

What does elaboration look like? Phrases that add information and details through the following: QUOTATION - Using the words someone says can help support your argument. “Spaying and neutering dogs and cats is the single best gift a pet owner can give.” The veterinarian from the animal shelter, Dr. Stein, agreed when she said, Lesson 1

What does elaboration look like? Phrases that add information and details through the following: DESCRIPTION - a way to create vivid images for the reader The sound of my phone cut through the silent class and I anxiously dug into my backpack to grab it before Mrs. Schuman, the writing teacher, noticed. Pawing through Chapstick and lipstick, gum wrappers and rubber hair wraps, my hand darted around the deep pockets of my backpack. “Must shut off ringer,” I thought. Lesson 1

DESCRIPTION – your turn Description can take many forms and still be effective. Show, not just tell your reader. Be specific with your word choice. Try to create an image that appeals to your reader’s senses. Work with your partner and write a paragraph that describes the student’s bathroom at your school. Lesson 1

ASKING QUESTIONS THAT LEAD TO ELABORATION Lesson 2

Elaboration answers questions for the reader. Teenagers have problems. Lesson 2 What problems?

Elaboration answers questions for the reader. Teenagers have problems. For example, teens don’t always have enough money to buy what they want. Hmmm...what do teenagers want to buy? Lesson 2

Elaboration answers questions for the reader. Teenagers have problems. For example, 80% of teens don’t always have enough money to buy CD’s, food for after school, and the kind of clothes they want, according to Teen Journal. Oh…now I understand. Teens want money for CDs, food, and clothes. Lesson 2

Elaboration answers questions for the reader. Think about who will read your paper. What information will help them understand you more clearly? Lesson 2

Assignment Begin rewriting your Artifact paragraphs. These will be your three body paragraphs for a five-paragraph essay. Add in some of the elaboration techniques we just discussed. Introductory & Concluding Paragraphs will be discussed and developed on Thursday. On Friday, you will pull together a final draft of your rewritten body paragraphs and your intro and concluding paragraphs from Thursday.