Empowering Communication Karen A. Cappello, PCC, CLC Business and Life Coach Tucson Business Group February 7, 2007

Introduction Self  Former Company President, Estate Planner and University Professor  Current Business and Life Coach, coaching coaches, professionals, entrepreneurs to have thriving businesses and balanced lives. Business and Life Coaching  Relatively new profession  Scope of coaching

Scope of Coaching Over 17,000 coaches worldwide International Coach Federation has over 9,500 members in 70 countries 36 coach training schools accredited by the ICF Profession is a little over 10 years old!

Techniques You will learn simple and powerful communication techniques to use with yourself and others. You will go beyond being an effective communicator to creating empowering and compelling interactions with others. It’s all about perspective and recognizing that each person has their own perspective that influences their behavior (including you!)  Know what is important to you  Know what is important to others  Act from this knowledge

Most Effective Foundation Begin by connecting at a heart level for inspiring communication.  “It is only with the heart that one can see rightly. What is essential is invisible to the eye.” -Antoine de Saint-Exupery  Be willing to be ‘out of your mind.’  Look for where your heart is ‘in it.’  Be open to the other person’s perspective (hint- it may not be logical to you).

Overview Communication Techniques  Total engagement  Positive focus  Powerful questions  Giving Acknowledgment  Receiving Acknowledgment

Total Engagement Be 100% engaged in the conversation  Listen deeply and with honor, and focus your positive attention on the person speaking.  Let go of multi-tasking  Release anticipating what the person is going to share  Refrain from formulating what you want to rebut or add to what is being shared

Positive Focus Focus on the 98% (or more) that is working. What you focus on expands. ‘Constructive criticism’ is an oxymoron. Powerful predictor of happiness Powerful predictor of successful relationships ‘It’s all good.’ Recommended reading- How Full is Your Bucket? by Tom Rath and Donald O. Clifton, Ph.D.

Powerful Questions In lieu of stating an opinion, or giving advice, ask a question. Start with “What…?” and avoid “Why…?” Example  Why did you do that?  What might you do differently? Make requests  Ask for what you want, while at the same time releasing the outcome of the request.  three possible answers: yes, no, counter-offer  Get a response to your request – close the loop.

Giving Acknowledgment My favorite empowering communication technique. Difference between acknowledgment and compliment. The Platinum (or Reverse Golden) Rule Give only authentic and positive acknowledgment.

Giving Acknowledgment How to give acknowledgment  Listen for the positive  Speak from your heart  Say ‘I acknowledge (or commend or appreciate) you for…’  Watch for the acknowledgment to ‘land.’

Receiving Acknowledgment Taught to deflect acknowledgment Maintain heart contact with the person acknowledging you. Be open to receiving the acknowledgment as a gift and let it sink in. Simply respond with ‘Thank you, you made my day.’ Refrain from comments back to the person acknowledging you.

Questions & Answers Thank you for your time and attention! Contact info: Karen A. Cappello, CLC, PCC Business and Life Coach