Supporting Your Loved One While They Are In Treatment To be most effective, you must understand your role

The Shores Mission Statement To provide a safe, nurturing and loving environment for our clients to heal from addiction. We will treat all phases of the disease using the most current medical, physiological, psychological holistic and spiritual approaches available to a team of licensed and board certified professionals.

The Shores Philosophy Is based upon the theory that addiction to alcohol and other substances is a multi-fold disease: physical, emotional, spiritual and psychological. We believe that the recovery of every aspect of the affected persons’ lives, as well as the lives of their loved ones. We also realize that healing can be a very difficult and painful process-much the same as recovery from any other illness.

THE FACTS Family can be a positive influence on a person’s recovery They can have a negative impact They can be a little of both The most important part of the process in your loved ones recovery is for you to take care of yourself and be healthy in your own life You need to set healthy boundaries and reinforce positive accountability

WHAT IS HAPPENING TO YOU You are not alone Things will get better if you are willing to follow the guidance and recommendations of the staff Your emotions will change at different times during treatment Your emotions do not follow any order, will change in intensity and in frequency

YOUR EMOTIONS ANGER Your loved one has acted in many ways that were unacceptable to you when they were using drugs and/or alcohol Your trust in them has been destroyed You have spent endless amounts of time, energy and money trying to help but your efforts have failed

RELIEF Once your loved one has reached treatment you feel thankful You are grateful that help has arrived You can stop struggling You are not alone Your loved one is getting the care they need You can finally get a good night’s sleep

GUILT Common emotion Especially when your loved one feels that they do not need treatment Your loved one may try to convince you that they will change if only they could come home You begin to question- If only I had…. You feel it is your fault

DOUBT After the relief is felt you begin to second-guess Was it really that bad? Was it really necessary? Your friends and family don’t understand and may question your decision Your confidence is undermined

FEAR It is unknown What happens now? What is expected of me? How will my loved one change? Will they want to be part of our family again?

THE TREATMENT PROCESS Addiction affects all aspects of a persons life: physical, psychological, spiritual, educational, social The treatment process responds to all aspects using a variety of methods: Individual counseling, group counseling, 12 step meetings, education, literature, ancillary services, spirituality, socialization, and recreation, family support and aftercare

TREATMENT METHODS Groups give your loved one the opportunity to interact with peers and staff in a safe and confidential setting Individual sessions help your loved one develop insights into their attitudes and behaviors and an opportunity to discuss things in private that they uncomfortable discussing in a larger group Ancillary services to include acupuncture, chiropractic, auricular therapy, massage therapy, relaxation techniques, amino acid replacement, to address all aspects of the mind, body, and spirit needs 12 Step meetings inside and outside of the facility to foster fellowship, and have a collective experience Education to provide information about their disease, the harmful consequences, and tools that they can use to recognize and change destructive patterns of behavior Recreation and socialization opportunities to reinforce that they can have fun without substances Family support is an essential part of treatment and is included on an individualized basis and as a workshop series Aftercare/Discharge plans to continue the sober lifestyle, find sober supports in community and treatment continuation, if needed

YOUR ROLE At some point during treatment your loved one may begin to resist the rules, the structures set up, and the changes in themselves At some point during treatment your loved one may become upset and call you You have a very important role to play

LISTEN Listen to them but do not take sides Ask questions to get as much specific information as you can to determine what is causing them to feel this way Encourage them to speak with their counselor about these feelings The counselor can help them understand their feelings and express them in an appropriate way

BE FIRM If you sense that your loved one may leave treatment take a firm stand that they should remain in treatment Tell them you understand that it is difficult to be in treatment but it is so important that they can not come home until treatment is completed Assure them that you understand their fear, hurt and pain but you cannot rescue them from it

ACT Most of the time their anger and frustration will pass Act by calling someone you trust to talk about your feelings Get support for yourself DO NOT REACT and rescue your loved one

YOUR RECOVERY PLAN Treatment will not fix your loved one You need to take care of yourself Build up resources that you can use: a 12 step program, counseling,church activities Learn about addiction and recovery BE ACTIVE IN YOUR RECOVERY