ASFPP ** Disclaimer ** This briefing is meant as satire. Please do not take anything you read in this to heart. Suicide is a serious matter and if you are feeling like you should kill yourself please talk to a family member about it.

1) Methods 2) Difficulty 3) Hardcore Factor  Suicide is a serious matter that is not to be taken lightly.  With that, this briefing is design to teach you how to be a success at suicide.  Since you already fail at life, you do not want to fail at suicide.  Two failures does not make a success.

 Wrist Cutting  Hanging  Handgun to the head.

 Cross the street Do not cross the street. Only chickens cross the street. Across the street allows your veins to be fixed.  Down The Road Down the road to success. Your vein cannot be repaired this way.

 How big of a branch to use Start with a 3-inch thick branch For each 10lbs over 180lbs add 1-inch to the thickness  How to do it Make sure that you kick whatever your standing on as far away from you, that way you cannot chicken out and try to get back on it.  Do Not Use A Ceiling fan – When the ceiling fan pulls out of the ceiling and lands on your head, you wish you would have done it right the first time.

 Do not go under the chin This will only cause you to blow the front of your face off. Which in turn will make you a vegetable that someone who cares about you will keep you on life support the rest of your live.  Do not shoot through the temple By doing this you once again, are going to just blow off the front of your forehead. You may still be able to talk but you will sound like a retard.  Gun in the mouth This is the most successful way of doing it. You want to put the gun in your mouth and rest it on your bottom teeth. Try to aim where your spinal cord meets your brain stem. Severing the brain stem will kill you instantly

 Wrist Cutting This one is very simple. Just grab a razor and start cutting  Hanging This is a medium difficulty. It requires a lot of planning. You need extra props to complete this task.  Handgun to the head You need to be vary accurate. By being off a inch or two, you can be a success or a failure. If you do not have a handgun, ask a friend!

 Wrist Cutting Just about everyone cuts their wrists. Depending on how much digging you do this could have a high factor 5/10  Hanging Even if you complete this suicide method it really screams I’m a chicken 3/10  Handgun to the head It takes a lot of balls to put a gun in your mouth and pull the trigger. Depending on the splatter effect this could be a 6/10 or a 8/10 A 10/10 is if your little brother or sister finds you and there is so much blood and brain matter that later on in life it causes them to kill themselves.

 You need to decide what the best method is for you.  What message do you want to send?  You can earn bonus points for the Hardcore factor.  If you fail at life, do not fail at suicide.