Reasons for Abstinence in Dating and Courtship Many educated and well meaning people look at the numbers of teenagers and young adults engaging in high-risk.

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Presentation transcript:

Reasons for Abstinence in Dating and Courtship Many educated and well meaning people look at the numbers of teenagers and young adults engaging in high-risk sexual behavior and throw up their hands in resignation.

Reasons for Abstinence in Dating and Courtship. The best we can do, they say, is to encourage protected or safe sex. In view of the powerful social forces and trends, the best we can do, they say, is to encourage protected or safe sex. They say that it is not realistic to expect young people to be sexually abstinent.

Reasons For Abstinence in Dating and Courtship I disagree. I don't think enough attention has been focused on the young people choosing not to engage in high-risk behavior. I don't think the compelling reasons for abstinence have been well explained. The "everybody is doing it" argument can be used as an excuse for not speaking up.

Reasons for Abstinence In Dating and Courtship First - lets make it clear what we are talking about when be use the term abstinence. Some people think that if they do not engage in vaginal intercourse it is not sex. This is commonly known as outercourse.

Reasons for Abstinence in Dating and Courtship Some people refrain from vaginal intercourse during times when the woman may be fertile and become pregnant as a result. This is commonly known as fertility awareness birth control.

Reasons for Abstinence in Dating and Courtship For the purpose of the discussion today and in the future, we will use the following definition; Abstinence means refraining from sexual contact. It means the only physical contact will be kissing, or hugging. It means no contact with the genitals with any part of the body.

Reasons for Abstinence in Dating and Courtship DID YOU KNOW? 50% OF TEENAGERS CHOOSE ABSTINENCE!!

Reasons for Abstinence in Dating and Courtship Reasons 1. It can cost you your life. HIV and AIDS have life threatening consequences. Heterosexual transmission of AIDS is a reality. It is not just about needles and homosexuality.

Reasons for Abstinence In Dating and Courtship 2. You can acquire a sexually transmitted disease. herpes, gonorrhea, syphilis, genital warts, and chlamidia Many of these are asymptomatic in females and can cause sterility and cancer.

Reasons for Abstinence In Dating and Courtship 9ea82c3f b9-a8e3- e4c74e460a3e.html

Reasons for Abstinence in Dating and Courtship 3. You face the devastating social, emotional and economic consequences of teen pregnancy. You could have to deal with the emotional and moral issue of abortion. You could have to deal with the emotional impact of giving up a child for adoption. First Choice Clinic - Fargo

Reasons for Abstinence in Dating and Courtship The far reaching social and economic consequences of raising and out-of wedlock child, especially on the negative educational and life opportunities of the mother. This also has tremendous costs to society in terms of mental health and social/criminal problems of children raised in single parent, or out-of-wedlock homes.

Reasons for Abstinence in Dating and Courtship The impetus for teen marriage that has a high probability for divorce. Teens are not yet at a developmental point where they can put another person's interests and needs ahead of their own.

Reasons for Abstinence in Dating and Courtship 4. Premarital intercourse predicts higher rates of divorce. The myth of living together to insure sexual compatibility is wrong. 40% of "living together" couples breakup and the remaining 60% who marry have a higher divorce rate than couples who never lived together.

Reasons for Abstinence in Dating and Courtship 5. Premarital sex predicts higher rates of infidelity. The precedent for not being sexually exclusive has already been set. Abstinence enhances the quality of sex life after marriage. There are no ghosts in the bedroom.

Reasons for Abstinence in Dating and Courtship 6. Lowered feelings of self-worth. Premarital intercourse lowers feelings of self- worth when it violates deeply held personal, family and religious values. Feelings of guilt, depression and anxiety are common.

Reasons for Abstinence in Dating and Courtship When sex between dating partners is seen as a part of the process of building a long-term relationship, people have to make sexual decisions without a firm standard. A significant number of females engage in intercourse when they do not want to in order to be found appealing or in an effort to maintain a relationship that has already been established.

Reasons for Abstinence in Dating and Courtship Once a woman has engaged in intercourse, she may feel she has lost her right to say no to sexual pressure from her partner. Having sex without wanting to causes negative emotions.

Reasons for Abstinence in Dating and Courtship 7. Sexual relations without marriage commitment complicates a couple's ability to address and resolve meaningful relationship problems. Some problems can't be addressed because of insecurity and lack of trust. Sexual relations may precipitate a crisis in the relationships around commitment issues and leads to relationship breakups. The less committed lover becomes frightened and backs off.

Reasons for Abstinence in Dating and Courtship 8. Sexual relations with various partners destroys the connections between commitment and sexual relations and clouds judgement in courtship. - for males: Males are less likely to commit to marriage and engage in meaningful psychological intimacy if sex is a part of the relationship.

Reasons for Abstinence in Dating and Courtship - for Males: Men can and do engage in non- relational sex while applying a double standard to the women they date. They want their long term mate to be sexually exclusive.

Reasons for Abstinence in Dating and Courtship for Males: Many men engage in sexual relations without meeting any requirements for emotional intimacy. They treat women as objects of sexual desire which are pursued to release sexual tension, to prove themselves and to feel adequate as a male.

Reasons for Abstinence in Dating and Courtship for Males: Engaging in casual sex or sex without care and commitment is conditioning to divorce sex from feeling. This detachment limits their capacity to fully participate in and truly enjoy intimate sexual relationships. In an extreme form, this attitude lies at the basis for sexual addiction and sexual aggression against women and children.

Reasons for Abstinence in Dating and Courtship for Females: Females engaging in casual sex give less of themselves in relationships, have more concurrent affairs, and receive less love and emotional intimacy from partners. They prefer partners based on physical attractiveness and disregard important factors in courtship such as agreeableness, emotional stability, kindness and consideration, willingness to give as well as receive in a relationship and willingness to share resources.

Reasons for Abstinence in Dating and Courtship for Females: By engaging in sex without commitment, females disqualify themselves from being a candidate for marriage in the minds of males who are willing to engage in short term sexually motivated relationships but reserve their commitment for someone who has a track record for being sexually exclusive.

Reasons for Abstinence in Dating and Courtship 9. For believers, add the violation of God's law to the list. Is that enough? Abstinence is a great message, not one to be sneered at!

Reasons for Abstinence in Dating and Courtship SUCCESSFUL ABSTINENCE Talk to potential partners in the beginning and emphasize your commitment to abstinence. Don't put yourself in situations where you put your commitment at risk. Think ahead. Plan what to say if you feel things are going too far too fast.

Reasons for Abstinence in Dating and Courtship Be prepared to respond to pressure. Participate in activities as a group, where sexual situations are unlikely to develop. Avoid alcohol. Spend your time with people who support your commitment.

Reasons for Abstinence in Dating and Courtship DISADVANTAGES TO ABSTINENCE It's Hard!! It takes a deep commitment to doing what is right for yourself as an individual.