EXPLORING MARRIAGES AND FAMILY, 2 ND EDITION Karen Seccombe © 2015, 2012 by Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved. Chapter 4 Love and Loving Relationships

What Is Love? A strong affection for one another arising out of kinship or personal ties; attraction based on sexual desire; and affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests © 2015, 2012 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

Love as Attachment Attachment Theory: A theory postulating that the way in which infants form attachments early in life will affect relationships throughout later life © 2015, 2012 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

Love as Attachment Attachment in Children –Secure Attachment: An attachment type where infants feel safe when their mothers are out of sight –Anxious/Ambivalent Attachment: The attachment type where infants become nervous when their parent leaves the room and can show rejection when the parent returns © 2015, 2012 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

Love as Attachment –Avoidant Attachment: An attachment type where infants show little attachment to their primary parent Adult Romantic Attachments –Adult romantic relationships correspond to the infant attachments Critique of Attachment Theory © 2015, 2012 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

Images of Love in History Ancient Greek & Roman mythology did not associate love with marriage Early Christianity did not associate love with marriage 12th century, during the Middle Ages, there were some precursors to our notion of love © 2015, 2012 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

Images of Love in History Courtly love: A poetic style of the Middle Ages when poets or troubadours would write songs of unrequited love and present them at the court of their aristocratic/royal masters. © 2015, 2012 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

Images of Love in History Feminization of Love: The process beginning in the 19th century in which love became associated with the private work of women in the home, namely, nurturing and caring for family members © 2015, 2012 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

Table 4.1 Top Twelve Features of Love © 2015, 2012 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

Contemporary Ideas about Love Romance, Romance, and More Romance –Romantic Love: A type of love that is characterized by passion, melodrama, and excitement, and which receives a lot of media attention Companionate Love –Companionate Love: A type of love that grows over time, based on strong commitment, friendship, and trust © 2015, 2012 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

Theoretical Perspectives on Love Biological and Chemical Perspectives on Love –Sociobiology: An evolutionary theory that all humans have an instinctive impulse to pass on their genetic material –Biochemical Perspectives of Love: Theories that suggest humans are attracted to certain types of people, at which point the brain releases natural chemicals that give us a rush we experience as sexual attraction © 2015, 2012 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

Theoretical Perspectives on Love Micro-Level Perspectives on Love –Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love: A theory that sees love as having three elements: intimacy, passion, and commitment © 2015, 2012 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

Figure 4.1 Sternberg’s Triangle Theory of Love © 2015, 2012 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

Figure 4.2 Sternberg’s Love Types © 2015, 2012 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

Theoretical Perspectives on Love –John Lee’s Styles of Love: A categorization of six types of love that describe how couples are attracted to one another –Reiss’s Wheel Theory of Love: A developmental theory that shows relationships moving from the establishment of rapport, to self-revelation, mutual dependence, and finally, need fulfillment © 2015, 2012 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

Table 4.2 Lee’s Six Styles of Love © 2015, 2012 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

Figure 4.3 Reiss’s Wheel Theory of Love © 2015, 2012 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

Theoretical Perspectives on Love Macro-Level Perspectives on Love –Controlling the Development of Love: A macro-level perspective on love suggesting that all societies control or channel love –A Modern-Day Example: India Arranged marriages are common Dowry: A financial gift given to a woman’s prospective in-laws by her parents © 2015, 2012 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

Table 4.3 Single Men, Single Women, and Their Relationship Interests © 2015, 2012 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

How We Experience Love Sex, Gender, and Love –Men are more likely than women to be in or looking for committed relationships –Men report falling in love sooner and with more people than do women –Men are more preoccupied with love than women © 2015, 2012 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

How We Experience Love Same-Sex Love –Primary difference from cross-sex love is the prejudice and discrimination experienced Unrequited Love: When one person’s feelings are not reciprocated by the other person in the relationship © 2015, 2012 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

The Downside to Relationships and Love Jealousy –Can be rational or irrational If irrational, can come about from our own insecurities Men are more likely to deny their jealous feelings, while women are more likely to acknowledge them © 2015, 2012 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

The Downside to Relationships and Love Controlling Behavior –Stalking: Conduct direct at a specific person that would cause a reasonable person to be fearful –Cyberstalking (or electronic monitoring): Stalking contact using electronic technology © 2015, 2012 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

Table 4.4 Nature of Stalking Behaviors Experienced by Victims (3,424,100) © 2015, 2012 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

Table 4.5 Involvement of Cyberstalking or Electronic Monitoring in Stalking © 2015, 2012 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

The Downside to Relationships and Love Breaking Up Is Hard to Do –Breaking up is influenced by a host of macro- level and micro-level factors © 2015, 2012 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.