MRNY CHW Training Conflict Resolution Skills ​.

Conflict resolution skills essential for CHWs What words, feelings, and images come to mind when you think of conflict? As a child, how were you taught to deal with conflict? In your experience, what contributes to successful conflict resolution?

Not all conflict is destructive Thoughts?

Not all conflict is destructive! Think of examples together It’s destructive when it: Takes energy away from other more important tasks Deepens differences Divides groups Results in discrimination Destroys people’s morale and self esteem Harms quality of services It’s constructive when it: Promotes new understandings of self, others Creates possibilities for positive change and transformation Enhances working relationships and team Reduces stress Results in better quality services

Video: A conflict between two CHW co-workers. wNAnhC1Yhttps:// wNAnhC1Y

Sam and Chris Case Studyp. 312 (lateness case) What’s the conflict about? How might the conflict impact them? What conflict styles are they using? How would you handle this if you were Sam? If you were Chris? How might they have tried to resolve the conflict rather than make it worse?

Common sources of workplace conflict (option: do mini role plays) 1. Insufficient resources 2. Conflicting personalities and work styles 3. Delegation of power and authority 4. Conflicting values 5. Lack of acknowledgment for one’s contributions 6. Disagreements over roles and responsibilities

Common sources of workplace conflict, continued- 7. Intercultural misunderstandings 8. Poor communication 9. Poor leadership and unpredictable policies 10. Conflicting pressures 11. Perceived threat to one’s identity

Denali and Walter case study p Foundations (optional re: flyers at work) What are the main sources of conflict that need to be addressed in their case? Connection to your life: 1. Think about a conflict you experienced at work. What were your initial perceptions of the cause of the conflict? 2. Referring to the list above of sources of workplace conflict, what else might have contributed to the conflict? 3. How could knowing about the causes of the conflict assist you in addressing it?

Signs of unresolved conflict at work pp optional- look at examples- discuss Common sources of conflict for CLIENTS: Brainstorm examples together Conflicts over resources Conflicts over psychological needs Conflicts involving values and identity

Common Responses to conflict Influences that contribute to our approach to conflict (p. 319) (small group discussion/share) 1. Socioeconomic status 2. Gender and sexuality roles 3. Culture, race, ethnicity, and religious influences 4. Behaviors modeled by family, friends 5. Personal history of discrimination, conflict and trauma 6. Personality and temperament 7. Attitudes and behaviors seen on TV 8. Conflict resolution training, coaching, education you’ve received 9. Childhood messages you received about conflict

Influence of Culture In conflict situations in your culture, is harmony and the values of the group more important than individual rights? Have you experienced conflicts influenced by cultural differences? How do your cultural identities influence your approach to conflict?

Personal conflict styles p. 322– Conflict quiz What did you learn about yourself? Reflections about conflict? Explain the conflict styles discuss at tables (p. 320) Avoiding Accommodating Competing Compromising Collaborating

Scenarios Your supervisor can’t give you more hours though she’d promised to give you more last month. There’s a new project at work that you really want to work on but the project is given to someone else on your team. Can you create some I statements you might use to try to resolve the conflicts?

Compromise 1. How easy is it for you to compromise? 2. What are some negative consequences of not being able to compromise? (jigsaw p. 321) 3. Have you interacted with someone who was compelled to be right? What’s it like? 4. What gets in the way of people’s ability to compromise? 5. What helps us create win/win solutions?

Three approaches to handling conflict(jigsaw) Prevention Early intervention Third party intervention

The influence of power in conflict- what’s right strategically and ethically Conflict with someone with powerful than you Conflict with someone over whom you have some power

Changing the way we view conflict Activities: jigsaw paragraphs, read and change statements Moving from certainty to curiosity It’s clear to me that you want to see me fail! That’s why you always make us late. Disentangling Intent from Impact You love making me uncomfortable don’t you. Distinguishing blame from contribution Thanks to you that report was late to our supervisor!

Developing a common framework and process for resolving conflict 1. Express commitment to resolving it 2. Express desire to have good working relationship 3. Acknowledge the value of the other person 4. Identify your common values, vision 5. Be prepared to move from certainty to curiosity. 6. Negotiate common ground rules for your discussion 7. Work to disentangle impact from intention 8. Focus on not assigning blame but on understanding 9. If you mean it, apologize and take responsibility 10. If things escalate, take a break 11. Focus on next steps.

Active listening skills pp (use one of earlier cases) Practice with a partner: Encourage Clarify Restate Reflect Summarize Validate “I” Messages ALSO Changing You messages to I messages

The challenge of anger/ how to handle your anger professionally A CHW does not respond well to a client's anger. A CHW responds effectively to a client's anger. Be aware Stop Think Choose Understand Action Look at Pp discuss questions mid page 331

How to de-escalate the anger of others Listening skills are crucial Offer reassurance and space for big emotions to settle Express your desire to understand the other person Assert your own needs and agency policies Everyone wants to feel understood and listened to Listen to/read along the case on pp and then apply the ideas above to that case

More re handling others when angry Reframing will allow you to redirect aggression into a non-threatening discussion Safety should always be of utmost importance to you and your organization Knowing when to disengage is essential Share deescalation stories….

The power of apologies What are your thoughts and feelings about making an apology? Is it hard for you to apologize to others? Is so, why? What would support you to provide an apology to a client, coworker or supervisor? Do you have any concerns or ideas re: limits of apologies?