Individuals & Families Diverse Perspectives Family Studies 11/12 Ms. Larson PGSS

Becoming A Couple

Marriage For most Canadian couples, getting married is the beginning of a relationship that will last a lifetime. How do you choose the one person with whom you would like to share your life? What can you do to ensure that your relationship will last?

Theories of Attraction & Mate Selection The eternal question in romantic relationships is: “How do I know if this is the right person for me?”

Romantic Movies

Decisions Whether or not to marry Whom one should marry? Whom one wants to marry? What one’s marriage will be like? What other form of relationship might suit one’s needs better? Will it be possible to form a satisfying relationship that will last a lifetime without having to give up who you are and who you want to be?

Marriage Binding and enduring – Not the case for many people – Some sociologists estimate that only 10% of contemporary marriages end up to be truly monogamous (1 man for 1 woman for life) Polygamy – marriage between 1 man and 2 or more women Polyandry – marriage between 1 woman and 2 or more men – Not affordable for most people

Marriage Same-sex marriages – Recently legalized in Canada and in other countries Serial monogamy – Marriage to several spouses – one after the other – a natural result of divorce Arranged marriages – Immigrants from other cultures where this is the norm

Marriage Increase in cohabitation and divorce rates makes one wonder if marriages are meeting individuals’ needs ………… but Newly-weds in most societies expect that their own marriage will last for life – why?

Theories of Attraction & Mate Selection Canada – Lasting couple relationships are based on romantic love and sexual attraction between two people – Marriage has its roots in the biological drive to reproduce  basic social and economic unit in human societies – Is romantic love a recent social development or does love have a basis in human biology? (Wilson, 2001)

Theories of Attraction & Mate Selection Historically romantic love is considered a hindrance to marital stability (Kelman, 1999) – 87% of all cultures the relationships between men and women exhibit romantic love (Nadeau, 1997) – In A History of the Wife, Marilyn Yalom of Stanford University suggests that a man and a woman who lived and worked together, shared a bed, and raised children together would probably grow to love each other regardless of how their marriage came about (2001)

Theories of Attraction & Mate Selection In Canada – Free-choice mate selection – Attraction – Fall in love – Decide to marry How successful is this model?

Evolutionary Psychology and Attraction Individuals are attracted to those who appear to provide the best chance for producing and raising children. Helen Fisher (1992) identified 4 adaptive behaviours for sexual attraction – Women preferred to mate with men who had the resources to be good providers for themselves and their children because women were unable to both care for infants and gather enough food

Evolutionary Psychology and Attraction Men preferred to mate with women who could bear healthy babies, who could feed their children, and who had the intelligence and temperament to raise them well. Prehistoric men formed lasting relationships because women could refuse sex until they got what they wanted or needed in evolutionary terms. Children raised without a father were poorer and could not compete well in prehistoric society because they had less food and did not learn the necessary skills

Evolutionary Psychology and Attraction Men and women who made successful choices would have more children to inherit Individual preferences for an attractive mate and competition with others for a mate

Modern Sexual Attraction Research – Men attracted to women who are physically appealing, younger, and healthy Shiny hair Clear skin Full lips and a shapely hourglass figure are markers of estrogen which suggest fertility and the ability to give birth without difficulty Common characteristics of female beauty in all cultures

Modern Sexual Attraction Research Women are attracted to: – Older mate with financial resources  good providers Men and women are attracted to: – Intelligence – Kindness – Understanding – Dependableness – healthy

Social Homogamy Explains how individuals are attracted to people from similar social and cultural backgrounds so that they share social, cultural, and economic values and lifestyle expectations – Unconscious factors – May explain the attraction of two individuals of different races or ethnic backgrounds but who were born and socialized within the same socio-economic environment People marry people who are like themselves and like their family

Social Homogamy Education is a major factor – More likely to marry someone with the same level of educational attainment Culture -first-generation immigrants generally have similar ideas to other Canadians about what is attractive, they also look for someone who shares their cultural values -Guided by values of family reputation and parental approval -Second-generation immigrants  more likely to marry someone of a different culture but still value parental approval

Ideal Mate Theory Attraction is based on an individual’s unconscious image of the ideal mate formed from his or her perceptions of the meaning of certain factors (physical, cultural, or socio-economic characteristics) based on how they see themselves or others “love at first sight” concept is supported Perceptions of an ideal mate are formed from pleasant experiences with other individuals in childhood – family, people in the community, media Identify characteristics that will be “deal breakers” for a successful marriage