2 Samuel 10:1-5 In the course of time, the king of the Ammonites died, and his son Hanun succeeded him as king. 2 David thought, “I will show kindness to Hanun son of Nahash, just as his father showed kindness to me.” So David sent a delegation to express his sympathy to Hanun concerning his father. When David’s men came to the land of the Ammonites, 3 the Ammonite commanders said to Hanun their lord, “Do you think David is honoring your father by sending envoys to you to express sympathy? Hasn’t David sent them to you only to explore the city and spy it out and overthrow it?” 4 So Hanun seized David’s envoys, shaved off half of each man’s beard, cut off their garments at the buttocks, and sent them away. 5 When David was told about this, he sent messengers to meet the men, for they were greatly humiliated. The king said, “Stay at Jericho till your beards have grown, and then come back.”

A. David reached out with the best of intentions “I will show kindness to Hanun son of Nahash ….”

1. Nahash was the first husband to David’s mother

2. Abigail was his half sister

2 Samuel 17:25 25 Absalom had appointed Amasa over the army in place of Joab. Amasa was the son of Jether, an Ishmaelite who had married Abigail, the daughter of Nahash and sister of Zeruiah the mother of Joab.

3. Hanun was likely David’s half brother

4. It is certain that Hanun viewed David with contempt and as a possible contender for his throne

Matt 5:44 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you

Luke 6:28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.

Romans 12: Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. 18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19 Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. 20 On the contrary: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.” 21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

B. David’s best intentions were met with hatred and contempt

1. Misunderstood and misread “Hasn’t David sent them….to spy and overthrow?” Bismark and the EMS telegram…. Accused the French of insulting Germans

2. David doesn’t immediately respond

James 1:19 My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry

Proverbs 14:29 Whoever is patient has great understanding, but one who is quick-tempered displays folly.

3. David sorts it out…allows it to air out

Ecclesiastes 7:9 Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools.

4. David only goes to war defensively after the Ammonites readied for attack

C. Avoid conflict

1. Keep your ego under check. Ego clouds everything!!

2. Allow God to defend you and your reputation

3. Pray for the offender. Thank God for the opportunity to bless and grow.

4. Don’t nurse the offense. Offences and talking about them creates an environment where tendency to grow.

5. Don’t get stuck

6. Don’t polarize, or take sides… that’s how wars break out

7. Take the perceived offense to the cross and leave it there.

Eph 2:14-16 For he himself is our peace, who has made the two groups one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility, 15 by setting aside in his flesh the law with its commands and regulations. His purpose was to create in himself one new humanity out of the two, thus making peace, 16 and in one body to reconcile both of them to God through the cross, by which he put to death their hostility.