Choosing the Right Partner

Signs of Readiness  Age: the older two people are (until late twenties) at the time of their wedding, the more likely the marriage is to be stable.  Independence: people who can’t stand on their own two feet aren’t able to support someone else.  Parental approval  Knowledge of each other: research show that partners who have known each other for at least five years before marrying are the happiest.  A sense of responsibility  Friendships  A realistic attitude

Warning Signs  Abuse  Substance abuse  Arguments  Jealousy  2 kinds  Suspicious jealous  Reactive jealousy

Kinds of love  Non-love - nonexistent love  Liking – intimacy only (friendships)  Romantic Love - intimacy and passion  Infatuation – passion only  Fatuous love – passion and commitment  Companionate love – intimacy and commitment  Consummate love – intimacy, passion, and commitment

Unrequited Love  Unrequited love is love that is not returned.  3 styles of unrequited love:  The Cyrano style – a desire to have a romantic relationship reqardless of how hopeless it is.  The Giselle style – a misconception that a love relationship is more likely to develop than it actually is.  The Don Quixote Style – the general desire to be in love, regardless of who one loves

A Belief in Marriage  You must have a strong belief in the institution of marriage, or see marriage as a way of living.  You must value marriage itself and believe it is worth preserving in society.