Developing Healthful Family Relationships Unit 3, Lesson 13 National Health Standards 1.2, 1.8, 2.1, 5.7

Family Relationships Family Extended Family members Healthful family Basic unit of society Group of people to which we belong Extended Family members All members of a family in addition to immediate family members Healthful family Family that practices skills to promote loving, responsible relationships

Roles of parents and guardians Teach children: Self-respecting behavior Healthful attitudes Effective communication Clear sense of value Responsible decision making

Conflict resolution Coping skills Delayed gratification Expressing affection and integrating love and sexuality Give and receive kindness

Work ethic Respect for authority

Teach by: Setting example Having discussions Expecting behaviors and skills to be practiced Enforcing consequences

Roles of grandparents Reinforcing behaviors and skills taught by parents Help raise grandchildren

Roles of other family members Practice behaviors and skills taught by parents Help each other interact in loving and responsible ways

Family continuum 2 extremes of family life Ideal and dysfunction Ideal Family Dysfunctional Family 1 1Meeks, Linda. Heit, Philip. Page, Randy. Health and Wellness. McGraw-Hill Glencoe. 2008. p. 135.

Dysfunctional Family Ideal Family Does not promote loving, responsible relationships Ideal Family Does promote loving, responsible relationships

Healthful Family Relationships Learn self-respecting behavior Treat self in a healthy, responsible way Learn to value needs of others Know difference between self-respect and self- centered ( fulfill personal needs with little regard for others)

Learn healthful attitudes toward sexuality Positive feelings and attitudes about body, sex role, and relationships Learn healthful sex roles Behavior, attitude, value, and beliefs appropriate for males and females on the basis of biological sex

Learn effective communication skills Positive ways to share feelings, thoughts, and information with others Learn a clear sense of value Healthful standard or belief

Learn to make responsible decisions Learn to resolve conflicts Imitate, observe, evaluate, set guidelines Learn to resolve conflicts Listen and work to find a common solution Learn effective coping skills Skills to deal with life’s crises

Learn to delay gratification Voluntarily delaying the reward for the completion of a task or responsibility Learn to express affection Appropriate ways to express affection for loved ones

Learn to respect authority Learning a work ethic Attitude, discipline, motivation, and commitment towards tasks to be completed Learn to respect authority Respect laws and rules of authority figures

Causes of Dysfunctional Families Chemical dependence Life depends on getting chemical over needs of other family members Increases risk of violence, neglect, abuse May be an inherited dependency Co-dependent – lives without needed items to be sure addict gets what they “need”

Other addictions Perfectionism Any compelling desire to use or engage in a behavior despite the consequences Food, gambling, shopping, etc. Perfectionism Compelling need to be flawless

Violence in the family Use of physical force to injure, damage, or destroy oneself, others, or property In a relationship when one member uses violence to control the other member, it is domestic violence

Abuse in the family Child abuse Spouse abuse Harmful maltreatment of another person Child abuse Harmful maltreatment of a minor Spouse abuse Harmful maltreatment of a husband or wife

Parent abuse Elder abuse Harmful treatment of a parent Harmful treatment of an aged family member

4 kinds of abuse Physical Emotional Neglect Physical injury to victim Belittling, bad mouthing, withholding affection Neglect Failure to provide proper care and guidance

Sexual abuse Forced sexual contact – by physical force, manipulation, or threat of harm

Abandonment in a family Give up or refuse responsibility for those whom they are legally bound to provide care Mental disorders in a family Behavioral or psychological syndrome or pattern of a family member that takes special attention of all family members

Co-dependent Relationships Have trouble with intimacy Deep and meaningful kind of sharing between people Obsessing about the needs of others and avoiding others Enmeshment Become so focused on the needs of another that own needs go unmet

Lack of interdependency Depend on each other, yet have own identity

Improve Relationship Intervention Therapy Seek professional help outside the family Therapy Individual or group Practice relating to one another in a safe environment

Steps to Resolve Family Conflicts Responsibly Remain calm Set a positive tone Define the conflict and take responsibility of own actions Listen to needs and feelings of others

List and evaluate possible solutions Agree on a solution Communicate

Recovery programs Group that support members as they change behaviors AA – Alcoholics Anonymous – group for recovering addicts Al-Anon – group for families who have an addict member Alateen – group for teens who have addicted family members or friends