Aberdeen City

“Mediation is a process in which disputing parties seek to build agreement and/or improve understanding with the assistance of a trained mediator acting as an impartial third party. Mediation is voluntary and aims to offer the disputing parties the opportunity to be fully heard, to hear each other’s perspectives and to decide how to resolve their disputes themselves.”

 Informal  Collaborative  Confidential  ‘Without prejudice’  Impartial  Voluntary  Self-Determined  An Opportunity

 Mediation referral  Individual pre-mediation meetings  Joint mediation meeting  Follow-up review if required ….. but mediation is a flexible process and can be designed to best suit each situation with the aim of achieving a positive outcome

 Over 80% of mediations reach agreement – Scottish Mediation Network  82% of mediations completely or partly resolved – Cipd Survey of SMEs  85% of mediations result in settlement – American Arbitration Association

 Problem or Issue  Personal Antagonism  Defensiveness  Expansion of Issues  Breakdown in Communication  Spiralling Mistrust  Polarisation

“Honest disagreement is often a sign of good progress” Ghandi

 Your bad behaviour is down to your disposition i.e. character flaws  My bad behaviour is because of circumstances  Accuser Bias – you did that on purpose  Bias of the Accused – I couldn ’ t help what I did  Finding out reasons behind actions is likely to elicit sympathy and understanding

 Mediation encourages people to take responsibility for their own conflicts  Participants retain some control over how issues are resolved  Encourages Adult – Adult interactions, rather than the organisation adopting the Parent role, which in turn can lead to the other party adopting the child role

 Checking out first-hand the meanings behind actions  Comparing perceptions of different incidents  Clarifying the actual basis of the conflict  Sifting out what may have been added by third party involvement  Checking understanding of language/phrases and communication styles

 Mediation can be an emotionally intense and challenging experience – hard-won agreements made are not usually taken lightly  If participants arrive at their own solutions, they have a vested interest in trying to make them work  If solutions are imposed from above and don ’ t work, those who imposed them are held to blame

 Mediation is non-adversarial  Recognises conflict as a perfectly normal issue  It ’ s okay to hold different opinions  Sees conflict as a shared problem to be worked on together  Seeks a mutually agreeable and constructive outcome  Sets the tone for better collaborative working in the future

Your son seems very unsettled at the moment and his behaviour in school is quite challenging. Are you aware of anything that could be causing this? a) There’re no problems at home if that’s what you’re implying – I can handle him okay. b) If it’s happening in school that’s your problem – you’d better sort it out. c) I hope he isn’t being too disruptive – I’m really worried about him, but he won’t tell me what’s wrong.

My son is really stressed and anxious about school just now - I’m concerned about his mental health. a) Well, he’s perfectly happy in school – I saw him smiling last week. b) I can assure you our school has an excellent reputation for supporting children with additional needs. c) I’m sorry to hear that – can you tell me a bit more so we can try and identify what might be causing his stress?

 Feeling more in control lessens stress  Feeling listened to and understood lessens anger and frustration  The chance to engage our empathy for other people makes us feel “nicer”  Experience of learning to manage conflict in a more positive manner builds confidence and self-esteem  More positive relationships make people feel less isolated/more connected

“ Conflict is inevitable; combat is optional” Max Lucado

A successful mediation makes people feel better - about….  Their former adversary  Their overall situation  The organisation involved  Themselves. “ I feel like a better person because of it. Thank you ”

For more information please contact: The Inclusion Team or Linda Paterson, The Mediation Partnership Tel: The Mediation Partnership Cutting the Cost of Conflict