College Composition I: Unit 8 Seminar Susan W. Trestrail, M.S. Ed. Instructor

Unit 8 Work  Reading  Proofreading  Editing

Unit 8 Work Discussion: First, in your original posting, copy and paste two sentences from your existing paper’s draft that you would like to edit using the Paramedic Method. Then edit and revise the sentences using this method. Finally, ask any questions you may have about editing and revision. Be sure to respond to at least two of your classmates’ postings by offering two alternate revisions of their sentences. In other words, create two completely new, edited sentences based on the sentences your classmates posted from their drafts. These sentences are not “better” or “worse” than the classmates’ edited and revised sentences, but they demonstrate that many ways exist to edit and revise sentences.

Unit 8 Work  Seminar  You’re here!  Only one left!  Go you!

Unit 8 Work  Get caught up!  No project  No quiz  Use your time wisely

Questions?

Lecture  Proofreading and editing - completely different things.  Proofreading: Looking for errors in your draft.  Editing: Fixing those errors.

Lecture  Proofread: Read your draft out loud. Awkward? ○ Too many words? ○ Words in the wrong order? ○ Missing punctuation? Re-read. ○ Why not post it to the Course Questions area? ○ Or even just it to me or anyone else in the class that you're working with? ○ Writing Center ○ Family and friends

Lecture  It's also good to know what kind of errors you normally make.  Not sure how or when to use commas?  Spelling?  Run-on sentences?  Subject-verb agreement?  Pronoun-antecedent agreement?  Once you know your weakness, you can look for it.

Lecture  One good editing tool: Paramedic Method.  It helps focus on sentences that are wordier than they need to be.  Have you ever caught yourself writing: "Due to the fact that…" "In this day and age…" "For all intents and purpose…" "Who is a…" Or even just adding in words like "really," "basically," "kind of"?

Lecture  Paramedic Revision:  Unless you’re a grammar freak like me, it’s hard. Sorry!  But it can be very helpful.  (Even if you don’t do it the "right" way.)

Lecture  First step:  Locate all the “weak" verbs.  You may have learned of them as "helping" verbs or "being" verbs. They can also be called "linking" verbs.  Is  Are  Was  Were  Being  Had  Having  And more!

Lecture  Second step:  Find the prepositions  Prepositions give position in time and space, and there is a list of them available at:  Some common ones: of, in, during, before, after, over, under, around, with, between…

Lecture  Test for prepositions involves finding a word you think is a preposition and putting it in the following sentence:  The squirrel ran __________ the tree.  If the word fits in, it’s probably a preposition.

Lecture  Once you’ve found the being verbs and the prepositions, you want to try to remove them.  In the case of the verbs, you will want to try to replace them with stronger verbs.  In the case of the prepositions, you will want to try to re-work the sentence in order to remove them.

Lecture  First example:  "I am a race-car driver.“  I drive race cars.  I race cars.

Lecture  Example:"The boy with the blue hair...“  Fixed: "The blue-haired boy."

Lecture  Example: They had an argument at the house of their neighbor.  Weak verb: had  Prepositions: at, of  Fix: They argued at their neighbor’s house.

Questions?

Practice  If Julia does not keep her job, it will be due to the fact that she has not arrived on time every single day.  Weak verbs: does, will be, has  Prepositions: due to, on

Practice  If Julia loses her job, it will be due to the fact that she has not arrived on time every single day.  My fix: If Julia loses her job, it's because she's always late. One handy piece of advice - don't use negatives. Instead of "does not keep" - replace it with a positive. I chose "loses.”

Practice  Jerome is a writer who has plenty of ideas and not enough time in his daily activity to allow him to write.  Weak verbs: is, has  Prepositions: of, in

Practice  Jerome is a writer who has plenty of ideas and not enough time in his daily activity to allow him to write.  My fix: While Jerome has ideas, he has no time to write.

Practice  Protecting our children while they research on the Internet is an activity which can take a lot of time and attention to achieve.  Weak verbs: is, can  Prepositions: on, of

Practice  Protecting our children while they research on the Internet is an activity which can take a lot of time and attention to achieve.  My fix: Successfully protecting children while they do Internet research can be time-consuming.

Practice  The person with the purple hair left a car in the parking lot of the mall.  Weak verbs: none  Prepositions: with, in, of

Practice  The person with the purple hair left a car in the parking lot of the mall.  My fix: The purple-haired person parked a car in the mall's lot.

Practice  We left the keys on the table of the house owned by our boss.  Weak verbs: none  Prepositions: on, of, by

Practice  We left the keys on the table of the house owned by our boss.  My fix: We left the keys on our boss's table.

Questions?

College Composition I: Unit 8 Seminar The End