TAMING TANTRUMS Dawnita Nilles Extension Agent/Family Resource Coordinator NDSU Extension Service Serving families in the counties of Grand Forks, Nelson, Pembina & Walsh
They enable kids to do some healthy things. What’s bad about tantrums? They usually occur at the worst time for parents. What’s good about tantrums?
Why do tantrums happen? normal behavior of children ages 18 months to 5 years normal behavior of children ages 18 months to 5 years can be caused by new or unusual stress in a child’s life or a developmental stage can be caused by new or unusual stress in a child’s life or a developmental stage
Awareness is key to understanding! Does this child tantrum because she is frustrated by a task? Does this child tantrum because she is frustrated by a task? Does this child see others tantrum and imitate their behavior? Does this child see others tantrum and imitate their behavior? Does this child tantrum more frequently when she is tired, sick or hungry? Does this child tantrum more frequently when she is tired, sick or hungry? Does this child tantrum when you set a limit? Does this child tantrum when you set a limit?
Ask yourself…. Does this child tantrum when she is denied an activity or an object she wants? Does this child tantrum when she is denied an activity or an object she wants? Is this child destructive or hurtful during a tantrum? Is this child destructive or hurtful during a tantrum? Does this child seem locked into the tantrum or unable to stop? Does this child seem locked into the tantrum or unable to stop?
Taming the Tantrums Distract Distract Remove Remove Ignore Ignore Hold Hold Remain calm! Remain calm!
Tantrums as a Teaching Tool Assure safety first Assure safety first At the “moment” At the “moment” –Acknowledge feelings –Clarify limits –Offer options Between times Between times –Reduce stress –Teach skills –Respond to cooperation
Preventing Tantrums Have regular routines Look for patterns Use warnings Give choices Catch ‘em being good! Choose your battles Put it into words
“We can learn many things from children,” someone once said. “For instance, how much patience we have.”
Take a closer look at these books: The Bernstain Bears Get the Screamies (S. Bernstain) Tiger and the Temper Tantrum (V. French) The Chocolate-Covered- Cookie Tantrum (D. Blumenthal)