Exercise 17

No.1  (Worse) Closely examining the test results, the final trial was delayed by the laboratory manager for another two week.  (Better 1) Closely examining the test results, the laboratory manager delayed the final trial for another two week.  (Better 2) The laboratory manager delayed the final trial for another two week after closely examining the test results.

No.2  (Worse) He observed the phenomenon conducting the simulating run.  (Better) He observed the phenomenon while he was conducting the simulating run.

No.3  (Worse) The technician detected the error analyzing the samples.  (Better 1) While analyzing the samples, the technician detected the error.  (Better 2) The technician detected the error while analyzing the samples.

No.4  (Worse) Having a large database, much information is contained in the system ’ s network.  (Better 1) Having a large database, the system ’ s network contains much information.  (Better 2) The system ’ s network contains much information because it has a large database.

No.5  (Worse) The technology has been advanced to satisfy consumer demand in recent years.  (Better) The technology has been advanced in recent years to satisfy consumer demand.

No.6  (Worse) After considering the consumer reaction, which is volatile in the early stages of development, a decrease in production output was his decision.  (Better) After considering the consumer reaction, which is volatile in the early stages of development, he decided to decrease production output.

No.7  (Worse) When only seventeen years old, the university president granted her a doctorate degree.  (Better 1) When she was only seventeen years old, the university president granted her a doctorate degree.  (Better 2) The university president granted her a doctorate degree when only seventeen years old.

No.8  (Worse) To fully understand a lecture, note taking skills must be developed by the seminar participant.  (Better 1) To fully understand a lecture, the seminar participant must develop note taking skills.  (Better 2) The seminar participant must develop note taking skills to fully understand a lecture,

No.9  (Worse) When a research assistant, my colleague helped me conduct many experiments.  (Better 1) My colleague helped me conduct many experiments when I was a research assistant.  (Better 2) When I was a research assistant, my colleague helped me conduct many experiments.

No.10  (Worse) To calibrate the instruments, accuracy should be emphasized.  (Better 1) To calibrate the instruments, the technician should emphasize accuracy.  (Better 2) The technician should emphasize accuracy when calibrate the instruments.

No.11  (Worse) To measure the boundary parameters, precision must be incorporated.  (Better 1) To measure the boundary parameters, the mathematician must incorporate precision.  (Better 2) The mathematician must be precise when measuring the boundary parameters.

No.12  (Worse) When preparing for an interview, background information of that company should be researched.  (Better 1) When preparing for an interview, a job applicant should research background information of that company.  (Better 2) A job applicant should research background information of that company when preparing for an interview.