Emotional Leadership: Managing Conflict Ripples Erik Thompson, MA Thompson Leadership Development, Inc

HR IT M NY Bank CEO SVP

HR Florida Firm CEO Founder

HR Manager Kansas Factory

HR PMPM PMPM NH Construction Company CEO Former Owner SVP

Conflict Ripples HR

My Goal Today To help you function as a emotional maturity leader in your organization by: –Thinking bigger and clearer about relationship challenges –Promoting accountability for EM –Coaching employees to manage relationship challenges and conflicts in a way that builds teams.

Not My Goal Today Provide easy answers to complex problems Quick and dirty “advice” Dumb down the subject –Techniques without poise fail –Techniques without new thinking fail Understate the importance of self- awareness

Thinking Bigger and Clearer About Relationship Challenges

Gun Barrel Vision

Able to see reciprocity

Wide Angle Lens

Emotional Poise

Emotional Reactivity

Wide Angle Lens

HR

Tantrum

A CB Blame Triangling More Triangling D Blame: “You are responsible for my experience.” Triangling: Tension between two spreads to a third Side Taking: The third blames one for the problem Further Triangling HR

IT M NY Bank CEO

HR Florida Firm CEO Founder

HR Manager Kansas Factory

SVP HR PMPM PMPM NH Construction Company CEO Former Owner

Characteristics of the Emotional Leader Emotional Immaturity 1.Emotionally reactive 2.Blame 3.Triangle prone 4.Quick to take sides Emotional Leadership 1.Emotionally poised –Can reflect on mind states 2.Slow to Blame: –“I am responsible for my experience.” 3.De-Triangling: –Can be amidst intensity between two without jumping to take sides 4.Delivers accountability 5.Impactful coaching

Emotionally poised

Which is the Alpha?

HR IT M NY Bank CEO

HR Florida Firm CEO Founder

HR Manager Kansas Factory

HR PMPM PMPM NH Construction Company CEO Former Owner

Delivering Accountability

A CB Leadership Promotes Responsible mindset

Coaching for EM