Masonic Funerals & Memorials THE BASICS, TIPS & SUGGESTIONS, PITFALLS TO AVOID Masonic Funerals & Memorials – Research & Education Committee 2015

Where Do We Start?  You’re an elected Officer of your Lodge. You’ve just gotten a call from the funeral home that a Brother of your Lodge has passed to the Celestial Lodge above. You have the name and phone number for the Brother’s widow. Now what?  This call to a Lodge could be from a family member, another Brother, a church or a funeral home, among other places. Is your Lodge prepared to handle the delicate intricacies of a funeral and honor that Brother appropriately, even if he hasn’t been to Lodge in 20 years?

From the Washington Masonic Code:  WMC B.L. provides for basic guidelines for services.  For example, a Masonic service may be requested by a Brother or a near relative. It is a privilege, not a right, and is for the Lodge or Master to determine.  Services may be held for EA’s & FC’s  A Lodge shall not attend clothed as Masons unless requested by the family.  A Worshipful Master may designate any Master Mason to perform the ritual in his stead.  Prior to the service, it is proper for a Lodge to open on the Third Degree if a Lodge of Sorrow is not already open for the year.

From the Standard Work:  The Standard Work calls for several different versions of services, depending on the circumstances. Review them, know them!  These include:  A short tiled Lodge service preceding a public service  “House” or Church Service  Service at the Grave or Crematory  Service over Ashes of a Cremated Brother  An Optional Funeral Service  Memorial Service (when there is no funeral or other service)

Let’s Start from the Beginning…  So, how does a Brother request a service for himself?  It is recommended that a Brother place a written request with the Secretary of his Lodge  However, the most important step is to include your wishes for a Masonic service with YOUR FAMILY, whether it be in your last will & testament or some other document. Specifically note how to reach your Lodge and, as a backup, Grand Lodge.

What does my Family need to know?  Do they know where your Masonic apron and other Masonic items of interest are?  Have you told them what you would like to become of your rings, lapel pins, Masonic Bible, Shriner’s Fez, Scottish Rite cap, etc.?  Whenever a widow calls and says she does not know what to do with these items, she is usually encouraged to keep them for a male relative, maybe a grandson or nephew who has yet to turn 18 or register an interest in the Craft. At the very least, the family should do what brings them happiness, rather than simply turning over a box of these items to a Brother’s home Lodge.

We got the call – now what?  So you’ve gotten the call that a Brother has passed on. Now what?  If he is a member of your Lodge, this is your Lodge’s responsibility to coordinate with the family for any requested services.  Remember, non-Masons will have no idea what to expect and they have just lost a family member. They need your compassion, your understanding and gentle answers to their questions. It is not unheard of for a male family member to have questions about Masonry after a service, with even a request for a petition, in some cases.

We got the call – now what?  Do a little bit of due diligence to determine the Lodge membership of the Brother. If he was a member of a Lodge in another jurisdiction, contact our Grand Lodge office. Just because the Brother wasn’t a member of your Lodge should not mean the caller is told that this is “not your problem.”  If the Brother was a sojourner, one of the most loving things your Lodge can do is conduct a service as if he were a member of your Lodge. He was a Brother, after all.  If the Brother is a member of a Lodge in WA not your own, take down the family member’s information and contact the appropriate Lodge to hand off. Be sure to follow up with the caller so they know who will be calling them next.

We’re going to do a service!  So you know your Lodge is doing a service. Congratulations!  Here are some things to quickly determine:  When/where is the service?  Is there a religious or military service at the same time?  Who is officiating any religious service?  Does the Lodge hall need to be reserved?  Does the family need assistance with set-up, food, etc.?  Will this be a burial graveside? Over ashes in the Lodge? With no remains at a church? These will help determine which service you will provide.

What else do you need?  At the very least, have your Secretary prepare several copies of a Masonic scroll. If you don’t have a template, contact the Grand Secretary or your DDGM.  If there’s a widow, be sure to have a Masonic Widow’s Pin on hand.  There are two sizes available from Grand Lodge. The larger is slightly more expensive but seems to be preferred by many widows.  This pin generally comes with a beautiful write-up and explanation, as well as a Widow’s card (similar to a membership card). This can be read formally at a service, privately one-on-one or just handed with the pin. Circumstances will dictate.

Composition of the Funeral Team  Ideally, you will have at least a Master, Chaplain and Bible Bearer (non- speaking role).  Hopefully, you can also have a full team of officers in regalia, with rods, Marshal’s baton, etc. The Standard Work provides some suggestion as to formation when processing to a graveside service or for most of the services (forming a “V” with the Master at the apex, in many cases).  Consider wearing black or dark suits or tuxedos when possible. White gloves are always appropriate, if available. This is quite impressive to non-Masons.  If you have a full team and expect to process as one unit, practice, practice, practice!

Composition of the Funeral Team  Whether you have a seasoned Funeral/Memorial Team or not, you can put on a distinguished and powerful celebration of this Brother’s life.  Some tips:  If no Brother is available who knows the service parts by memory, it can be read. This is most easily done with the use of a podium and enlarged copies of the service with larger type. Regardless, a well-rehearsed reading can be powerful, especially to those non-Masons who have never heard or seen our ritual.  Can I have one Brother do the entire service, all parts? Sure! You can have one do the parts for Master and Chaplain, if that’s all you can provide on short notice.  What if we don’t have a full funeral team kit? Do the best you can, even if you don’t have a fancy Bible Bearer kit, black crepe or even a Master’s hat. If you conduct the service cleanly and with distinction, that is what the family will remember.

Miscellaneous Tips  When interacting with clergy, funeral home staff and families, remember that they are not familiar with our ritual, our rules or the WMC.  From the Standard Work: “After the Masonic Services have ended, there should be no further service, except that there will be no objection to pronouncement of a benediction by an ordained Minister…” But if you arrange the Masonic service to be last and then the family or clergy or anyone else wants to have final words, are you going to stop them? Are you going to stomp out? Probably not. Remember, our rules are for Masons and guides for others, not absolutes.  Performing the Masonic Funeral or Memorial service is an honor and reflects upon you and your Lodge, hopefully positively.

What if…?  What if the family can’t find the Brother’s white apron? Or what if they want to keep it?  That’s OK! It’s handy to keep an extra white apron available for such occasions, as a stand-in for the part of the service which uses it as a symbol.  What if there is no body or remains present?  Although the Standard Work includes several lines of ritual indicating that the remains are present, be sensitive to the fact that the family knows there is no body/ashes present. This may mean a slight alteration to the verbiage. For example: “This emblem [referring to the apron] I now place upon the ashes of our Brother as a symbol…” Instead, consider: “This emblem I now place as a symbol…”  What if a Brother requests a Masonic service but the family overrules this desire?  That’s fine and their wish. To honor the Brother’s request, consider a Memorial service at your next Stated meeting.

We need more training!  So, whose responsibility is it to conduct Funerals and Memorials? It is the Lodge’s responsibility, not that of the Masonic Service Bureau, the Grand Lodge or your DDGM. However, all of these can be resources for you.  If you don’t have a Masonic Funeral & Memorial Team, why not? Talk to your Lodge, your DDGM and/or your Lodge Officers and Members Association to get one started!  Contact the Grand Secretary if you would like to schedule additional training from the Research & Education Committee in this important area of our ritual and ceremonies.