5 | 1 Copyright © Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. HUM-102 FIRST YEAR EXPERIENCE Section 05 Day 13

5 | 2 Copyright © Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. Agenda OnCourse Journal part 4 Due OnCourse Journal Part 5 posted –Due Oct 3:30 PM Passport Journals –6 (5?) students have not made any entries (yet) –Midterm grades due next week Next Class  how to select and register for courses for spring semester –Get a copy of College Catalogue from One Stop OD Polyface Farms vs Big Organic – Discussion on Employing Interdependence

Strategies for Creating Success in College and in Life On Course Chapter 5 EMPLOYING INTERDEPENDENCE

5 | 4 Copyright © Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. CHOICES OF SUCCESSFUL STUDENTS EMPLOYING INTERDEPENDENCE

5 | 5 Copyright © Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. Urgent Not Important Not Urgent Quadrant IVQuadrant III Quadrant IIQuadrant I Starting research for a 10-page history term paper the night before it is due Creating a detailed study plan for the two weeks before final exams Letting friends talk you into driving them to a late-night pizza party when you are 90 pages behind in biology. Spending three hours on Facebook when you have a major math test in two days QUADRANT II TIME MANAGEMENT Important 1050

5 | 6 Copyright © Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. Spending three hours writing a major paper due at 8 a.m. the next day. Spending one hour a day on an assignment due in two weeks. Watching a movie you’ve already seen three times when you have a test the next day. Spending two hours helping a friend look for a lost cell phone when you need to finish a paper that is due in the morning. Spending ten minutes each evening checking your Next Actions list to plan for the following day. IIIIV III In which quadrant would you place the following activities? REVIEW: SELF-MANAGEMENT QUADRANTS II

5 | 7 Copyright © Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. REVIEW: SELF-MANAGEMENT TOOLS What provides a list of important actions that need to be done numerous times to achieve a goal? What provides a list of important actions that need to be done as soon as possible? What provides a list of important actions that can be done only at a particular time? Tracking Form Next Actions List Monthly Calendar

5 | 8 Copyright © Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. What question can you ask yourself to strengthen focus? What question can you ask yourself to enhance persistence? What are my goals and dreams? Do I love myself enough to keep going? REVIEW: DEVELOPING SELF-DISCIPLINE

5 | 9 Copyright © Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. CASE STUDY IN CRITICAL THINKING: PROFESSOR ROGERS' TRIAL Professor Rogers, Anthony, Sylvia, Donald Which character in the story is most responsible for the team's grade of D? Which character in the story is least responsible for the team's grade of D? Form groups based on your answer and elect a spokesperson. Then provide your spokesperson with evidence from the story that will persuade others to agree with your group. (10 min) Debate your positions with the other spokespersons. (5 min. for position, 1-2 min. for rebuttal)

5 | 10 Copyright © Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. Interdependence is and ought to be as much the ideal of man as self-sufficiency. Man is a social being. - Mahatma Gandhi

5 | 11 Copyright © Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. DEVELOPING MUTUALLY SUPPORTIVE RELATIONSHIPS FOCUS QUESTION How could you make accomplishing your success a little easier and a lot more fun?

5 | 12 Copyright © Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. Dependence : Codependence : Independence : Interdependence : FOUR WAYS OF RELATING I can’t achieve my goals by myself. I have to help other people get their goals before I can pursue my own goals. By working hard, I can get some of what I want all by myself. I know I can get some of what I want by working alone, but I’ll accomplish more and have more fun if I give and receive help.

5 | 13 Copyright © Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. Identify the way of relating that is depicted in each of the following statements. Be ready to explain your answer. NOTE: Some statements may have more than one correct answer... QUICK REVIEW!

5 | 14 Copyright © Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. Kyle helps Cherie with her writing assignments and she tutors him in math. Candace always lets Kim copy her homework because she doesn't want Kim to get mad at her. Joe refuses to go to the tutoring center: "If I can't learn this by myself, then I shouldn't be in college." QUICK REVIEW Independence Codependence (Candace) Dependence (Kim) Interdependence

5 | 15 Copyright © Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. Maturity Codependence Dependence IndependenceInterdependence

5 | 16 Copyright © Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. A Story One night, a man had a dream. He dreamed that he went to Hell. He looked around and was surprised to find out that Hell looked remarkably like a beautifully appointed formal dining salon. Long, dark wood tables were covered with rich, expensive fabrics and piled high with sumptuously prepared foods of all kinds: perfectly cooked meats, excellent cheeses, fresh fruits and vegetables, all of the finest wines. There was an overabundance of food; plenty for all and to spare. Then the man looked more closely at the denizens of Hell, who were all seated at these long tables before this magnificent feast. They were all starving. Every one. Emaciated, cadaverous souls were groaning in agony at their eternal hunger. The dreaming man did a double-take, and discovered that the souls of Hell had no elbows. They couldn't feed themselves, and were wasting away in front of a feast suitable for, well, for Heaven. The man shook his head sadly, and woke up. The very next night, the man dreamed he was in Heaven, and was surprised to find it exactly the same as Hell; Same furniture, same decorations and trim, and of course the same stunning, mouth-watering feast. And the souls of Heaven had exactly the same handicap as those in Hell: no elbows. They couldn't feed themselves. But every one was well fed, laughing, enjoying each other's company, and having a glorious time with one another. It didn't take the dreaming man long to figure out why Heaven was so different from Hell: Here in Heaven, they were feeding each other. Different version of this story appear in many religious texts.

5 | 17 Copyright © Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. What past experience of yours might make it challenging for you to choose interdependence? What could your Inner Guide say to help you choose interdependence when doing so would help you achieve your desired outcomes and/or experiences? JOURNAL ENTRY 16: WARM-UP

5 | 18 Copyright © Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. CREATING A SUPPORT NETWORK FOCUS QUESTION How could you create and sustain an effective support network to help achieve your greatest dreams in college and in life?

5 | 19 Copyright © Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. QUOTATIONS Choose one quotation in the margin of the “Creating a Support Network” section. Write why you agree or disagree with the quotation. (3 minutes) Join a partner and share/compare what you have written. Be prepared to share with the class what your partner says.

5 | 20 Copyright © Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. Relationship Bank Accounts I want you to think about one of your best friends. Create a picture of this person in your mind. Now, on a sheet of paper write the number 100. This represents the present balance that your friend has in a relationship bank account with you. I’ll now ask you to imagine that your friend did the actions that I’m about to read to you. After you hear each one, make an appropriate deposit or withdrawal from your friendship account. For example, if your friend does something that strengthens your relationship, you might add ten or twenty points to his or her account. If your friend does something that weakens your relationship, you might subtract points from the account

5 | 21 Copyright © Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. Actions You and your friend agree to meet for lunch at noon. Your friend shows up an hour late and offers no explanation + or - # You mention to your friend that you’re having difficulty understanding one of your college courses. Your friend says, “I passed that course last semester. I’ll be glad to give you some help.” Your friend comes to your house the next day and tutors you for two hours. Your friend introduces you to a new group of people, telling them that you are the best friend he or she has in the world. A person you barely know tells you that some people were criticizing you, and your friend stood up for you.

5 | 22 Copyright © Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. More actions On Friday, you and your friend agree to meet at the library at 4:00 on Monday for a study session. On the way to the library on Monday, you see your friend talking and laughing with a group of people. Your friend never shows up at the library as promised. Later your friend apologizes, “I’m really sorry I didn’t meet you. I tried to get there, but I was in a conference with my history teacher, and he just kept talking. There was nothing I could do.” You’re moving to a new place to live, and you’ve decided to move the furniture yourself. You mention to your friend that you’ve asked about ten people to come over on Saturday morning to help you move. Your friend doesn’t offer to assist and doesn’t show up on Saturday.

5 | 23 Copyright © Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. Creating Support Networks Using and leveraging OPB Get help from your professors Get help from your advisors –Change advisors if chemistry isn’t right Get help from College Resources Start a study group –Chose only creators –Chose group goals –Chose group rules

5 | 24 Copyright © Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. STRENGTHENING RELATIONSHIPS WITH ACTIVE LISTENING FOCUS QUESTIONS Do you know how to strengthen a relationship with active listening? What are the essential skills of being a good listener?

5 | 25 Copyright © Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. ACTIVE LISTENING STEP 1 Listen to understand STEP 2 Clear your mind and remain silent STEP 3 Ask the person to expand or clarify STEP 4 Reflect the other person's thoughts and feelings Which of the following listening skills do you think will be the most challenging for you?

5 | 26 Copyright © Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. PRACTICING ACTIVE LISTENING 1. Form a trio. Decide who will be A, B and C. 2. Person A, tell Person B about the most useful or interesting thing you have learned so far in this class; Person B, use Active Listening skills. (3 minutes) 3. Person C, give Person B feedback about which Active Listening skill s/he did well. Provide examples. 4. Rotate and repeat Steps 2 & 3. Person B talks to Person C; Person A provides feedback to Person C. 5. Rotate and repeat Steps 2 & 3. Person C talks to Person A; Person B provides feedback to Person A.

5 | 27 Copyright © Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. INTERDEPENDENCE AT WORK What incident have you witnessed (or can imagine happening) in which independence in the workplace interfered with achieving desired outcomes and experiences?

5 | 28 Copyright © Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. BELIEVING IN YOURSELF: BE ASSERTIVE FOCUS QUESTION How can you communicate in a style that strengthens relationships, creates better results, and builds strong self-esteem?

5 | 29 Copyright © Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. INEFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION Placating –Its okay if you don’t help with our project in sociology. I’ll just do the work myself. –Please don’t be upset with me. I'll drive your friends to the airport and study for my math test later. –I'm sorry. I should have cleaned up the mess from our party last night. I’ll do it right now.

5 | 30 Copyright © Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. INEFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION Blaming –You never do anything to help our study team. You’re just lazy! –This room is a mess! When do you plan to start doing your share of work around here? –My sociology instructor gives unfair tests! He thinks he can ask questions about anything that we were supposed to read for homework.

5 | 31 Copyright © Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION Leveling –I know you've got a lot of work to do tonight. Could we spend just ten minutes cleaning up this mess together? –Before I can help you with your paper, I need to finish studying for a test. How about if you help me review tonight and I'll work with you on your paper tomorrow afternoon?

5 | 32 Copyright © Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. THREE STRATEGIES THAT PROMOTE LEVELING Communicate purposefully Have a clear goal for your communication. Communicate honestly Express unpopular thoughts and upsets. Communicate Responsibly Be accountable by using “I Messages.”

5 | 33 Copyright © Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. APPLYING THE CONCEPT After reading each statement below, identify whether it is placating, blaming or leveling. I was really upset when you and your friends came in at three o’clock last night, laughing and yelling. I have to leave for work at 6 a.m. and I need my sleep. Would you agree to never do that again? Leveling Placating Don’t worry about waking me up last night. I know you enjoy partying with your friends. I’ll just go to work sleepy. If I get fired, I can probably find another job.

5 | 34 Copyright © Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. APPLYING THE CONCEPT Blaming Professor Hartley, I had a couple of questions about my failing grade on the test, and I'd like to make an appointment to discuss those with you. Would tomorrow morning during your office hours be a good time? Say 9:30? Leveling You are such a jerk! You never show respect for anyone. Why in the world would you be yelling and slamming stuff around at three o'clock in the morning?! Man, you make me sick!

5 | 35 Copyright © Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. JOURNAL ENTRY 19: WARM-UP On a clean piece of paper, create two columns. Title one column “Assertive” and title the other column “Unassertive.” In each column, list 10 or more words that you associate with the key word. Write for three minutes about the key differences between being Assertive and being Unassertive. Be prepared to share your writing. On another piece of paper, create a sketch that illustrates the essence of the two concepts: Assertive and Unassertive. Be prepared to explain your drawing.

5 | 36 Copyright © Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. EMBRACING CHANGE: DO ONE THING DIFFERENT THIS WEEK Look at the list of 10 beliefs and behaviors regarding interdependence. Which is the one you are least inclined to do? Dive deep and explore why. See if you can learn something important about how you view interdependence.

5 | 37 Copyright © Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. REVIEW What are the four components of the CORE Learning System? Collecting Organizing Rehearsing Evaluating

5 | 38 Copyright © Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. BECOMING AN ACTIVE LEARNER: TRANSLATION One effective method of memorization is "translating." First, translate verbal information (ideas expressed in words) into visual information (ideas expressed in pictures). Second, translate the information back into words by explaining the picture to someone else.

5 | 39 Copyright © Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. EXAMPLE OF TRANSLATION Here’s a visual way to remember the three qualities of leveling: A porpoise (purposeful) is swimming to Abraham Lincoln (honest) because it’s responsible for returning his wallet

5 | 40 Copyright © Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. BECOMING AN ACTIVE LEARNER: TRANSLATING One of the key reasons that some cognitive psychologists believe the translation strategy works because of "dual encoding.” That means the brain stores information in both visual and verbal form.

5 | 41 Copyright © Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. BECOMING AN ACTIVE LEARNER: PRACTICE TRANSLATING Translate one of the following into a picture and be prepared to explain your drawing. Feel free to use the On Course text for the information. 5 suggestions for writing a meaningful journal 5 things you Collect when reading 4 ways to refute irrational beliefs 4 self-management tools 3 ways to empower your affirmation 3 principles of deep and lasting learning

5 | 42 Copyright © Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. Developing Mutually Supportive Relationships Using Active Listening Creating a Support Network KEY CHOICES FOR EMPLOYING INTERDEPENDENCE

5 | 43 Copyright © Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. TICKET OUT What example did your parents (or other important adult in your life) set for you in regard to employing interdependence?

5 | 44 Copyright © Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. End Chapter Five