Chapter 8 Lecture/Recap

 “…personal information, shared intentionally, that another person would have trouble finding out without being told” (p. 155).  “I decided to wear pink today”  “I decided to wear pink today in support of my loved ones who have battled breast cancer”  Verbal behaviors (intentional)  “I really have a crush on Will but no one knows because I’m afraid he won’t like me back” VERSUS  “You blush every time Will comes around—you must have a crush on him!”

 Must be INTENTIONAL  What, how, how much  Must trust the individual  How do we know?  Disclosing private information  Private (reflection of self-concept) vs. public (our public image)  Level of risk involved -- WHY?

 Private vs. Public  History vs. Story  More risk associated with story

 Individual differences (ties to subjectivity)  The need for openness and disclosure  Culture  Sex and Gender  Type and life of relationship (3 patterns—p. 16o)  Disclosure often levels off or decreases  Framing disclosure -- based on relationship type Example:(8:00 mark)

 Great deal of disclosure in few interactions  Usually occurs between 2 people in close relationships  Exceptions?  Ex: 3 friends discussing a break up; the bus rider phenomenon

 Reciprocal process  Immediate?  Matching self-disclosure vs. concern  Example: Clip (Charlotte and Miranda)  Occurs over time  Relationship development linked with self- disclosure

 Dialectics Theory  Tension – privacy vs. disclosure  Four ways to address this tension Cyclic alternation (disclose or keep private at different times) Segmentation (certain topics for separate settings) Selection (choose one side; ignore the other) Integration (neutralizing—happy medium, disqualifying—taboo topics, reframing)

 Social Penetration Theory/Model  – why is this an example of penetration theory?  Breadth vs. Depth  Application Exercise: Draw your onion! Consider each level as more information. Also consider different relationships. Where would you put discussions of: Your relationship with a significant other Your political views Your religious views Your goals and aspirations General information about your family Detailed information about your family Detailed information about your medical history Your hobbies, interest, favorite things Your pet peeves and dislikes  What would it take for you to peel back each layer?

 Johari (Joseph + Harry) Window  Four panes: Open, Hidden, Blind, and Unknown

 Psychological (e.g. catharsis) or physical well being  Self awareness  Relationships  Begin a relationship  Maintain a relationship  Satisfy expectations of a good relationship  Escalate a relationship

 To avoid hurt/rejection  Consider “ambushing” from our discussion on listening  To avoid conflict/protect a relationship  To keep image and/or individuality  To reduce stress

 Owning (I-Statements)  Honesty  Consistency  Non-distracting verbal cues  Relevancy (consider the context)  To situation and conversation  Risks vs. Benefits analysis  Predict reactions/responses (of the receiver) and effects (on the relationship)  Appropriateness  Amount, type, receiver