Grief and Loss By: Brooke Samuelson Gray Hagler Thomas Mckoy

Grief and Mourning  Grief  Inward Expression  Personal thoughts and feelings associated with loss  Emotional, cognitive, physical and behavioral reactions  Mourning  Outward Expression  Formalized process of response  Celebrating memories and anniversary dates

Common Losses  Parent(s)  Sibling(s)  Grandparent(s)  Extended Family  Friends  Pets  Divorce or Family Transitions  Moving  Natural Disasters  Any Others?

Common Reactions Four major reactions: PhysicalEmotionalCognitiveSocial

Common Reactions  Shock  Denial  Anger  Disbelief  Depression  Aggression  Regression  Guilt  Fear  Loneliness  Shame  Anxiety  Acceptance  Peace

Trouble Signs  When grief does not progress “typically” as it should:  Continued drop in grades  Self destructive behavior (drugs/alcohol)  Sexual deviance  Absence of any emotion  Severe personality changes  Withdrawal from social activities  Suicidal thoughts

Wolfelt’s Seven Tasks of Grief  1) Acknowledging death as a reality  2) Facing the pain of the loss with support  3) Adapting proper perspective  4) Building memories of the deceased  5) Redefining self  6) Making sense of the loss and finding meaning  7) Building/Strengthening new supportive relationships

What NOT to do  Deny support (i.e. closing your door or asking them to come back later)  Suggest positive outcomes from the loss  Mention that the death could have been prevented  Rationalize positive aspects of the death  Compare the survivors grief to others you know  Dwell on your own grief to show your sorrow  Take anger or aggression personally  Force physical gestures or touching (i.e. hugging or holding hands)  Try to talk them out of their feelings  Remove personal items of a deceased student for a few days  Provide excessive details  Any Ideas?

What TO do  Have a Plan  Create a Safe Room for students and staff  Be open, honest and clear. Provide accurate details to avoid rumors  Have bereavement resources available  Be predictable. Provide students with stability  Be nurturing and be available  Provide information to parents  Encourage student to share the loss with teachers  Provide an outlet for emotional expression  Any Ideas?

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