Skills For Effective Communication Lesson 6-6 Bell Ringer Open Unit 6 Student Journal, PAGE 18, Lesson 8 Journal Entry Describe what “good communication” means to you. What does good communication look like, sound like, and feel like?

Motivate Communication refers to how people send and receive information. What are some ways you communicate with the important people in your life? Have you ever had a problem or misunderstanding with a family member or friend that was caused by poor or misunderstood communication? What are some benefits of being able to communicate your thoughts and emotions to others in clear and effective ways? Communication effectively helps others understand you better. It can also help you manage stress, share your emotions in healthy ways, and build/maintain healthy relationships.

Optional Activity Give each student an index card Ask students to write down a situation in which it might be difficult to communicate their thoughts or emotions clearly to another person. Collect the cards and review them for god situations to use as possible role-play scenarios later in the lesson.

Explain Remember, it’s important to be able to identify the different emotions you experience. It’s normal and OK to experience a wide range of emotions, but you also need to know how to express or communicate your feelings in healthy ways, particularly at times when you feel sad, angry, hurt, or are experiencing other difficult emotions. One way to do this is to use I-messages

I-Messages I-message allow you to communicate your emotions or how you feel clearly and in healthy ways. Using the word “I” helps you take responsibility for your emotions I-messages don’t blame or attack the other person. Scenario: We were supposed to meet at a particular time to see a movie and that I’ve been waiting 10 minutes for you to arrive. Me – page 101 Is this an I-message? I-messages are clear and let you take responsibility for how you feel or felt instead of blaming or attacking the other person See TE pg. 101-102 to model scenarios

Activity Workbook page 23 – What Can I Say? We will read the example aloud, discuss and… Then, write your own I-message for the suggested situations Be ready to share See TE pg. 102 for good responses

Summarize I-messages let you share how you’re feeling without blaming or upsetting the other person. They also open the door for future communication. If you share that you’re upset about the lie, without accusing or blaming, chances are your friend will apologize or explain why he or she lied If your mom knows you’re disappointed or confused, she may be more likely to explain her reasons and listen to your ideas and suggestions.

Effective Communication Skills for Speaking Communication can be: Verbal – with words; such as when people talk to each other in person or by phone Written- such as writing a letter or sending a text Can use I-message for both verbal and written communication Nonverbal – without words; such as the expression on a person’s face, hand gestures, body language. How people communicate with each other is a very important part of their relationships. When people can communicate effectively they can share their thoughts and feelings with others in healthy ways. I-messages are one example of this, but there are many things you can do to improve how you communicate. Today we’re going to focus on speaking and listening skills for when you’re talking with someone face to face.

Communication Skills When you speak: Use I-messages Be assertive, not passive or aggressive Be sure your body language and tone of voice match your message Invite the other person to respond When you listen: Pay attention and show that you are listening Acknowledge what the speaker said Ask questions to clarify the message if needed Take turns speaking and listening Model: Passive, Assertive, and Aggressive Scenario Volunteer wants to borrow my car “Can I borrow your car?” Me – Passive, Aggressive, and Assertive Response See TE pg. 104-105 for modeling instructions

Responses Passive Aggressive Assertive Look away Don’t make eye contact Soft and unsure tone of voice Response is uncertain Tense body Crossed arms Glaring eye contact Loud or harsh tone of voice Criticize Stand up straight but comfortable Make friendly eye contact Use a moderate and reasonable tone as you clearly and confidently decline the request More likely to get what you want and will be able to avoid something you don’t want to do without upsetting others

Explain It’s also important for clear communication to be sure your body language and tone of voice match the message you want to send. Body language is the nonverbal communication you send with your body It includes gestures, the way you are standing, how you move your body, and your facial expressions. Model Body Language and Tone of Voice See TE pg. 105-106 for modeling instructions

Message Body Language Could Send Having my arms crossed could mean I’m protecting or guarding myself because I feel worried or afraid. It could also mean I feel angry about or closed off from what someone is saying to me. Often you have to read all of the body language clues, including facial expressions, to get the nonverbal message someone is sending.

Practice With a Partner Take turns saying something that doesn’t match your body language or tone of voice. Then repeat your message, but this time, make sure your body language and tone of voice match what you’re saying.

Explain The last skill you’ll learn to use when speaking is to invite the other person to respond. This is part of the give and take of communicating with another person. When you’re open to hearing and considering the other person’s point of view it helps build trust and respect in your relationships. The person who’s been listening to you speak then knows that you also care about his or her opinions, feelings, and ideas. Inviting a response can also help the other person do the same for you when he or she is the one speaking.

Communication Skills for Listening Pay attention and show that you’re listening Focus on the person who is talking to you and don’t interrupt You communicate nonverbally when you’re listening, just as much as when you’re speaking Acknowledge what the speaker said Repeating the main point Saying, “Thanks for telling me that.” A way to be sure the person feels heard, so he or she will be willing to listen to you in turn. Ask questions to clarify the message, if needed What kind of body language and facial expressions would show that you are listening?

Listening: Body Language and Facial Expressions Nodding your head Looking at the person Smiling or having a facial expression that fits with what the person is saying

Summarize- Taking Turns Speaking and Listening When you know someone isn’t listening as your speak, you may think that he or she doesn’t consider what you say to be important. It can make you feel ignored, uncomfortable, or not respected. Practicing your own listening skills is away to make sure you give others the same attention you’d like to receive when you’re communicating. This is how people can exchange information and ideas, share their feelings with each other, and build healthy relationships. If you’re communicating with someone and find yourself practicing only one of these sets of skills, it means you’re either speaking too much or just listening without communicating in return. If one person does all of the talking or all of the listening, a relationship isn’t balanced. “Communication is a two-way street”

Practice Communication Skills Partners: Decide who will speak first and who will listen I’m going to give you something to talk about. The speaker will talk about the topic, the listener will pay attention, acknowledge the speaker, and ask questions to clarify anything he or she does not understand or would like more information about. Keep the conversation going until I tell you to stop What is a favorite book, movie, or TV show of yours and why do you like it? Switch Roles

Close Today you learned about affective communication skills. After practicing these communication skills, which ones do you think you do best? Which ones do you think you need to improve?