Building Partnerships that Work: A Crash Course in Rapport-Building Lisa Olcese, Executive Director – Colorado Youth Matter 1

Welcome! What does RAPPORT look/sound/feel like? Intentions and Outcomes Agenda –Basic Toolkit –Senses and How we Understand –Thought Experiments –Matching What We Say, See, Hear –Eye Cues –Q&A 2

Agenda * Basic Toolkit * Senses and How we Understand * Thought Experiments * Matching What We Say, See, Hear * Eye Cues * Q&A 3

The Basic Toolkit SENSORY AWARENESS 1.Match what we say, how we look & sound. 2. We don’t see things as they are; we see them as we are. Anaïs Nin BEHAVIORAL FLEXIBILITY 1.Be curious. 2.If what you’re doing isn’t working, do something else! OUTCOME THINKING 1. Know what you want. 2. When we know where we want to go, we know if we get there 4

We Live in the World of Our Senses Visual Auditory Kinesthetic/Touch Gustatory/Taste Olfactory/Smell 5

Understanding How We Understand Our senses are our ‘modes of perception,’ and we have preferences… Visual - making images Auditory - self-talk Kinesthetic - having feelings 6

Thought Experiments Critical inner voice Someone you like vs. dislike 7

VISUALAUDITORY KINESTHETIC Match What We Say: Words that Reveal Preferred “Modes of Perception”  Looks like  __________  Sounds like  __________  Feels like  __________ 8

Verbal Rapport: PRACTICE I can’t see the point of that rule. Other kids are saying that it’s all right. I need to get a feel for this plan but I’m not there yet. 9

Match What We See & Hear HOW WE SOUND HOW WE LOOK  Gestures  __________  Pitch, volume  __________ 10

The Eyes Have It Visual Constructed Visual Remembered Auditory Constructed Auditory Remembered Kinesthetic – sensations, feelings Self-Talk

Thank You! Questions & Comments How/when will you use today’s tools?