Relationship Patterns and Cycles & Neuroticism

I. Relationship Patterns and Cycles A. Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love: The Three Elements 1) Intimacy: the emotional element of love, involving self-disclosure, which leads to connection, warmth and trust. 2) Passion: the motivational element of love, based on inner drives that translate physiological arousal into sexual desire. 3) Commitment: the cognitive element of love, the decision to love and stay with the beloved.

B. Common Relationship Patterns Involving Some Forms of Love 1) Infatuation: pure passion; romantic relationships often start out as infatuation and become romantic love as intimacy develops over time. 2) Liking: intimacy; true friendships in which a person feels a bond, a warmth, and a closeness with another but not intense passion or long-term commitment.

3) Romantic Love: an intense longing for a person fueled by intimate feelings and accompanied by physiological arousal; when our love is reciprocated, we feel great fulfillment and ecstasy, but when it is not, we feel sadness and despair. 4) Consummate Love: is the complete form of love, representing an ideal relationship toward which people strive (a.k.a. the perfect couple). 5) Companionate Love: an intimate, non-passionate type of love that we feel when we care deeply for a person; it is stronger than friendship because of the element of long-term commitment.

Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love

C. Sexual Attitudes in Relationships 1) Reproductive: attitude concerning sex that sex is permissible only for reproductive purposes within marriage. 2) Traditional: attitude concerning sex that sex is permissible only within marriage. 3) Relational: attitude concerning sex that sex should be accompanied by love or affection, but not necessarily marriage. 4) Recreational: attitude concerning sex that whatever feels good and doesn’t hurt anyone is fine.

II. Neuroticism: Characteristics and Historical Treatment A. Personality Trait: a consistent, long-lasting tendency in thinking, feeling, and / or behavior. B. State: a temporary activation of a particular behavior. C. The Trait Approach to Personality: the idea that people have consistent personality characteristics that can be measured and studied. D. Neuroticism: the tendency to experience emotional instability, such as anxiety, hostility, depression, self-consciousness, impulsiveness, and vulnerability very easily.

E. Psychoanalysis: a method of explaining the workings of personality based on the interplay of conscious and unconscious internal forces. F. Unconscious Mind: contains memories, emotions and thoughts, some of which are illogical or socially unacceptable. G. Catharsis: the therapeutic release of pent-up emotional tension.

H. A Few Common Defense Mechanisms 1) Fantasy: gratifying frustrated desires in imaginary achievements (“daydreaming” is a common form). 2) Isolation: cutting off emotional charge from hurtful situations. 3) Sublimation: the transformation of sexual or aggressive energies into acceptable and prosocial behaviors. I. The Geography of Neurotics J. Neurotics can be very sexual. 4) Humor: the comical expression of negative ideas and feelings that gives pleasure to others. The thoughts retain a portion of their innate distress, but they are “skirted round” by witticism.