PARADIGM How do I see myself?

What can I develop in myself to fulfill my potential …to be truly alive …to use the gifts God gave me to be good and to do good “The only way to feel good is to do good.”

It is a mistake to base our self-worth on what other people say or do. “I won’t be happy unless: a) I get accepted into ______ college. b) _______ loves me. c) I make _____money. d) my ______ are satisfied with my achievements Etc.,etc.

Focusing on circumstances outside ourselves can never make us truly happy. I CHOOSE MY RESPONSE TO WHAT HAPPENS TO ME. INSIDE—OUT I choose my response (from the inside) I do not let myself be ruled by people and circumstances (on the outside)

PROACTIVE I choose, I decide, I am responsible REACTIVE Circumstances and other people’s words and actions hold me back

Personal Power Circle of Influence Circle of Concern

MATURITY The degree of maturity is amount of space between stimulus and response STOP and THINK before ACTING Instead of Reacting without Thinking

POWER TOOLS 1) Self-Awareness 2) Conscience 3) Imagination 4) Willpower Example: Victor Frankl

Living Proactively Leads to self-acceptance self-love self-discipline self-direction

Resulting in: making good decisions being positive finding meaning and purpose in life accepting responsibility respecting others’ freedom living inside-out

entering interdependent relationships loving others freely appreciating what others have to offer instead of focusing on what they do not give having concern for self and others

LIVING REACTIVELY Leads to: making bad decisions being negative and/or cynical blaming others wanting to control or be controlled look to others to make me happy dependency/co-dependent relationships loneliness lack of purpose or meaning

incapable of truly loving others hurt others and yourself unconsciously weak-minded and/or hard-hearted selfish and self-centered look for other people’s approval defensive and/or aggressive behavior rationalize behavior procrastination

Resulting in: lack of personal freedom little or no personal growth no freedom to choose your response— choice by default not design determinism—outside forces control you scarcity mentality co-dependent, not interdependent relationships