MONTESSORI & DISCIPLINE Practical Ways to Use Montessori Philosophy to Bring Peace to your Home

MINDSET “When we see our children as divine beings striving to develop their human potentials, rather willful children purposely annoying us, we will approach them from an entirely different perspective.” –Sonnie McFarland, author Montessori Parenting

PHILOSOPHY Montessori is a comprehensive educational and developmental philosophy based on Dr. Maria Montessori’s research and practice from over 100 years ago. Montessori Encourages: Self-Discipline Self-Regulation Independence Intrinsic Motivation

THE BASICS  Limits “Limits are boundaries that give your child order, consistency, and clear expectations. Within these limits, your child is free to explore and learn about his world. It is your responsibility as a parent to establish, enforce, and help your child understand your family’s limits. Children learn about limits by testing them, so mean what you say!” – thefullmontessori.wordpress.com  Prepared Environment  We can use the environment to direct the behavior of our children and assist us in setting out limits.

THE BASICS Directed Choice  Directed Choice: Parent provided choice of two (or more in older children) equally acceptable options.  Older Children: The child may suggest additional choices and lay out the reasons behind them, but the parent has ultimate say on if it gets included making sure to explain the why. No, “Because I said so!” Observation  Observation is key in understanding the triggers of our children. It helps us understand when something has changed or appears to be “up” with out kids.

THE BASICS Natural Consequences  Consequences from the natural order no parent intervention needed.  Ex. Your child does not want to wear a coat.  Natural consequence is being cold. But be careful not to use a natural consequence as a punishment. As in, just say something like, "It's okay if you don't want to wear a coat. You might feel cold, so I will bring it along just in case" instead of something like, "Well, I guess you're just going to have to be cold if you don't want to wear a coat! We have to go!" It helps me when I try to think of my child's wants and desires as equal to my own (because they are). So if she doesn't want to wear a coat, no big deal. But since I'm the adult and I have the skill of foresight, I bring a coat for her to wear when she does get cold, but it's not attached to any kind of "I told you so"-type statements. It's just, "Oh, you're cold? Ok, I brought this coat for you.“ –Nanci Kennedy (Montessori 101 Group) Logical Consequences  Consequences that require adult intervention but are tied directly to the action  Ex. Your child darts across the street without looking.  Natural Consequence is they would be hit by a car, obviously we can’t let that happen so a logical consequence would be to give the child the directed choice by saying, “You can either hold my hand or I can pick you up”

TIME TO PRACTICE My Example: Observation: Tired, after school and again before bedtime. Prevention: Early and consistent bedtime routine. No after school commitments. Consequence: Has a sleepy meltdown, so a logical consequence is an earlier bedtime or a rest time right after school. Follow Up: If reoccurring discuss napping situation with teacher at school and continue to push up bedtime.