 Dealing with People You Can’t Stand Fight Less, Win More (protective gear sold separately) Candace Moody Jacksonville hello.

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Presentation transcript:

 Dealing with People You Can’t Stand Fight Less, Win More (protective gear sold separately) Candace Moody Jacksonville hello.

I’m OK, You’re a Mess  Today, you’ll learn to:  Read people quickly to communicate better  Understand why conflict occurs  Change your style to be more persuasive  Head conflict off before it becomes destructive

 Focus on different priorities  Competition for scarce resources  Differences of opinion on process or roles  Different styles of combat Differences that Cause Conflict

People Focused Task Focused Active/Outgoing Passive/Internal InfluentialDominant SteadyConscientious

Four Types of Intent  Get it Done  Get it Right  Get Appreciation from People  Get Along with People

Aggressive Get it Right Perfection People Oriented Passive Task Oriented Get it Done Control Get Along Approval Get Appreciation Attention

 Get it Done:  We focus on task and our goals  Get it Right:  We focus on task and get the details right  Get Appreciation from People:  We work together well and I let you know how important your role and your work is  Get Along with People:  We bond and build a relationship When Things are Going Well…

When Things Go Bad…  Get it Done people become controlling  Get it Right people become perfectionists  Get Appreciated people become attention getters  Get Along people become martyrs to get approval or shut down completely

Controlling Behaviors  The Tank – Control through anger  The Sniper – Control through humiliation  The Know It All – Control through dominating the conversation

Perfection Behaviors  The Whiner  The “No” person  The Judge  The Nothing person

 The Grenade  The Friendly sniper  The Think they know it all Attention-Getting Behavior

Approval Behaviors  The Nothing Person  The Maybe Person  The Yes person

2 Essential Skills  Blending: Putting yourself on the side of the other person  Redirecting: Changing trajectory of the interaction

Blending Techniques  Physical: Mirroring, drawing closer or further away, expressions  Verbal: Volume, speed, quiet listening  Backtracking, paraphrasing, clarifying

Survival Skills  Identify Positive Intent  Assume the best, give the benefit of the doubt  Acknowledge the other person’s needs (Get it done, Get it right, Get appreciation, Get along)  Identify highly valued criteria (ask “why?”)  Identify your own needs and style  Identify your hot buttons  Rehearse blending and redirecting phrases

Resource  Dealing with People You Can’t Stand, How to Bring Out the Best in People at Their Worst  Dr. Rick Brinkman, Dr. Rick Kirschner

 Questions and Answers Go ahead. Ask me about the idiots you work with. Q&A