Then his hands moved so fast they blurred. One was suddenly gripping under the fan, and something was grabbing me, swinging by legs around like a rag doll’s, till they hit the tire of the tan car. A groaning metallic thud hurt my ears, and the van settled, glass popping, onto the asphalt – exactly where, a second ago, my legs hand been. How can we improve this with editing?

Can you write a better description?

A narcissistic sixteen year old schoolgirl is stalked by a 104 year old man who happens to look like an attractive 17 year old boy. It turns out that he is a ‘vampire’ who experiences urges to attack and kill her, breaks into her room to watch her as she sleeps, and seeks to control many aspects of her life under the pretence of ensuring her ‘safety’. They experience a ‘deep love’ which seems be to based upon the fact that she likes his pale, sparkling skin and he thinks she smells nice. What is the moral of this story?