Heart Beat of Domestic Violence BY S’ENTRAIDER

Abuse Information ▪ Most women know the wheel of Abuse Tension: where no matter what you do, you know it’s coming. Abuse/Battering: physical or verbal. Honeymoon: When they say sorry and treat you like a queen. ▪ 1 out of 3 Women are abused. ▪ You or you know someone who is abused. ▪ Not enough is being done.

1 Out of 3 Women are Abused

Immigration ABUSE ▪ Hold the passport as a form of control. ▪ Threaten them with ICE (Immigration Customs Enforcement) or to be deported. ▪ Threaten to kick them out of the country and keep the children. ▪ Threatens to kill them because there is no record of her being in this country. ▪ She doesn’t speak the language. ▪ What can she do?

Some Signs of Abuse ▪ Fear of one's spouse or of ending the relationship ▪ Physical abuse, including grabbing, pinching, shoving or hitting ▪ Emotional abuse (put-downs, embarrassment, or humiliation in private or in front of others) ▪ Social isolation (not being allowed to see or talk to relatives or friends) ▪ Threats of violence against the victim, the victim's children or people the victim loves ▪ Unexplained bruises or injuries ▪ Increased or unexplained absences from work ▪ Harassing phone calls at work or at home ▪ Withdrawal from friends, family or friends

Category of Abuse ▪ We try to put all abuse under one label and treat it all the same. ▪ This must stop because each case is different this is why we fail.

Abuse from Husbands / Boyfriends

Abuse from Girlfriends

Military Abuse

▪ High levels of stress created by the cycle of deployment and reintegration ▪ Frequent relocation that separates military families from social support systems ▪ Economic dependence of many military spouses ▪ PTSD

Pastor Domestic Violence ▪ A Pastor/Ministers Wife would be the last one you would think to be a Victim of Domestic Violence. ▪ How does she endure the beatings on Saturday Nights, Get up on Sunday..dress the children and sit in the front seat of the church to hear the same man preach GOD’S WORD? ▪ How Does she attend all the social functions? She wears the long sleeves to hide the bruises. ▪ How does she pray to GOD each night? ▪ Where does she get help?

Real Pastor’s Wife

Cultural Abuse “I was perfectly happy living alone, but the family kept pushing me to marry. I wanted to show them I was a good Muslim girl,” said Shireen, now 37 and divorced. When her husband became abusive, she said, relatives told her to be a better wife. When she took him to court, she said, “everyone abandoned me. I was the one who had done something wrong.”

Law Enforcement Domestic Violence

Law Enforcement Abuse ▪ Who would you call? The Police? He is the Police. ▪ Run to a Shelter? He knows where the shelters are and works with them so the shelters may show loyalty to Law Enforcement. ▪ Shelters must protect their other clients and staff, you may pose too much of a risk. ▪ Protective Order? Piece of paper! Plus he could lose his job and he may become more angry and abusive. ▪ Go to his Department? They, many times would rather sweep it under the rug, too much legality to get involved. Blue Code of Silence to protect their own.

Law Enforcement Domestic Violence ▪ Your abuser carries a gun for a living. ▪ Your abuser knows how to integrate. ▪ Your abuser knows self defense and can hurt you without leaving marks. ▪ Your abuser is trained to control the situation. ▪ Your abuser may have his friend: Fire/Other officers watch you (stalking). ▪ Your abuser has tracking training. ▪ Your abuser knows the courts, judges and lawyers pretty well. ▪ Your abuser knows the legal system for their advantage.

Dowry Domestic Violence

▪ Dowry-related Domestic Violence continues on even in these modern times and is a serious problem that affects the lives of women and girls. ▪ Dowry includes gifts, money, goods or property given from the bride’s family to the groom or in- laws before, during or any time after the marriage. Dowry is a response to explicit or implicit demands or expectations of the groom or his family.

Dowry Domestic Violence ▪ While dowry is practiced in many different parts of the world, Dowry Domestic Violence is most prevalent in South Asia, in the nations of India, Pakistan, Sri Lanka and Bangladesh. ▪ The most common forms of dowry-related violence are battering, marital rape, acid throwing, wife burning, and other forms of violence. Perpetrators may also use methods of starvation, deprivation of clothing, evictions, and false imprisonment as a method of extortion. ▪ They often use violence disguised as suicides or accidents, such as stove or kerosene disasters, to burn or kill women for failing to meet dowry demands.

Professional Athletes’ Who Abuse

Gang Members Who Abuse Abuser has no boundaries Abuser has his entire GANG Abuser is awarded for these type of actions Abuser and Gang will attack Victim and her/his Family Abuser will do drive by shootings Abuser has no fear of the law

Where To Get Help ▪ SAFE (7233) National Domestic Violence Hot Line ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ Please Give Today To Your Local Domestic Violence Shelter!!!!