Linda Graham, MFT New World Library Mindfulness and Awareness Shift Happens: Learning to Bounce Back from Disappointment, Difficulty, even Disaster February 2016

Presence - Overwhelm Presence and well- being Creativity and flow Discipline and productivity Busy-ness and pressure Stress and overwhelm Self-combustion

Practices to Reduce Overwhelm Mindful Self-Compassion Calming the Body to Relax the Brain and Open the Mind Taking in the Good Resonant Relationships

Mindfulness and Compassion Activate Caregiving System Mindfulness Focuses awareness on experience May I accept this moment, exactly as it is Self-Compassion Focuses kindness on experiencer May I accept myself exactly as I am in this moment Common Humanity I am not alone; I am not the only one Activates caregiving system Shift from reactivity and contraction to openness, engagement

Mindfulness and Compassion Mindfulness and compassion: Two of the most powerful agents of brain change known to science Shift brain functioning In the present moment – restores equanimity Over time – creates new patterns of behavior As a way of being – natural, effortless

Shit Happens…Shift Happens In the moment In any moment In every moment

Outcomes of Mindful Self-Compassion Shifting from contraction to expansion Shifting from withdrawal to engagement Shifting from narrow focus to big picture Shifting from few no options to many options Resilience

Self-Compassion Break Notice moment of suffering, or inquire: “Is there any suffering here?” Ouch! This hurts! This is painful. Soothing touch (hand on heart, cheek, hug) Common humanity: I’m not alone; I’m not the only one Kindness toward experiencer May I be kind to myself in this moment May I accept this moment exactly as it is May I accept myself in this moment exactly as I am May I give myself all the compassion I need to respond to this moment wisely

Calm through the Body Hand on the heart, hand on the cheek Hands on front and back of head Massage back of neck Head rubs, foot rubs Hugs Safe, soothing touch

Positive Posturing Body inhabits posture of difficult emotion (40 seconds Body moves into opposite posture (40 seconds) Body returns to first posture (20 seconds) Body returns to second posture (20 seconds) Body finds posture in the middle (30 seconds Reflect on experience “Power posing”

Positive Emotions - Benefits Less stress, anxiety, depression, loneliness More friendships, social support, collaboration Shift in perspectives, more optimism More creativity, productivity Better health, better sleep Live on average 7-9 years longer Resilience is direct outcome

Take in the Good Notice: in the moment or in memory Enrich: the felt sense in the body Absorb: savor seconds, felt sense in body Repeat: 6 times a day, install in long-term memory

Modes of Processing Default Network What brain does all the time on its own Can drop into worry, rumination Can be mental play space Focused Attention Focused on tasks, practices, objects of attention Can pull attention out of default network

True Other to the True Self The roots of resilience are to be found in the felt sense of being held in the mind and heart of an empathic, attuned, and self-possessed other. - Diana Fosha, PhD

Connections to People Increasing the social connections in our lives is probably the single easiest way to enhance our well-being. - Matthew Lieberman, UCLA

Positivity Portfolio Ask 10 friends to send cards or s expressing appreciation of you Assemble phrases on piece of paper Tape to bathroom mirror or computer monitor, carry in wallet or purse Read phrases 3 times a day for 30 days Savor and appreciate

I am no longer afraid of storms, For I am learning how to sail my ship. - Louisa May Alcott