AP Prose Passage Essay Tom Jones Feedback

Overall Ratio of evidence to analysis –1:1 –GOAL --- 1:2 Analysis remains on surface level –We need to analyze beyond obvious Topic sentences –Do not contain elements of plot “The reader” “Fielding uses…”

Analysis Please go through your essay and highlight your ANALYSIS (REASONING) –Doesn’t include your topic sentence

On the back of one of the sheets Write this down: TS Ev1 –R Ev2 –R Ev3 –R Cs

Compare to your 1 st BP Write down how your 1 st body paragraph was organized

What you should notice Very few people are writing fully developed paragraphs. –Those who are tend to score in the 7 or above range. Why?

GOAL #1 I will write fully developed body paragraphs. I will hold myself accountable by keeping the pattern of Ev-R-R in my head. I will do this because colleges expect me to know how to fully develop my ideas.

Surface-level Analysis Do you find yourself repeating the same idea over and over? Do you feel like you’re saying what’s already been said? Do you feel the urge to add depth, but you are just stuck at the surface? FEAR NOT…

Get below the surface Good analysis starts with close-reading skills –Look for subtle clues in the text –Remember, there’s the OBVIOUS… then the not-so-obvious.

E – R - R When you pull a quote from the passage, you embed it into CONTEXT – meaning you explain what’s going on in that scene: –When Mr. Allworthy returns home “fatigued,” he retires to bed and begins to pray as this is “a custom which he never broke” regardless of his state. Although Mr. Allworthy is tired, his dedication to this custom reveals how willing he is to sacrifice his time for others, whether it is his God, his sister, or some other being. By praying every night, Mr. Allworthy chooses to remind himself of his duty to serve the world around him. So when Mr. Allworthy…

For each piece of evidence MAKE SURE you follow each sentence of evidence with two pieces of reasoning (analysis). –You want to ANALYZE that particular action, and explain how it reveals a quality/belief/trait about the character.

Don’t do this Mr. Allworthy “feels compassion” as he looks on the infant’s “beauty of innocence.” Revealing that Mr. Allworthy is a caring and compassionate man. Mr. Allworthy prays “a custom which he never broke” showing that he is deeply religious.

Do this When Mr. Allworthy returns home “fatigued,” he retires to bed and begins to pray as this is “a custom which he never broke” regardless of his state. Although Mr. Allworthy is tired, his dedication to this custom reveals how willing he is to sacrifice his time for others, whether it is his God, his sister, or some other being. By praying every night, Mr. Allworthy chooses to remind himself of his duty to serve the world around him. So when Mr. Allworthy… Notice how the analysis focuses ONLY on the action in the evidence. No generalizations made that were already stated in the text.

Topic Sentences Focus on the meaning, not the method. It is an assertion that you will prove throughout your body paragraph. Mr. Allworthy is ___(qualities you will prove)___. NO EVIDENCE

The Reader…. Fielding uses When Mr. Allworthy returns home “fatigued,” he retires to bed and begins to pray as this is “a custom which he never broke” regardless of his state. This shows the reader that he is religious, and coveys to the reader that he is a good man. Fielding describes Mr. Allworthy as “fatigued” and uses imagery as he goes to bed and “spends time on his knees.” METHOD should be weaved into your sentence… it shouldn’t be the focus of your sentence. Focus on the MEANING, and simply reference devices as you describe the meaning.