Dating to Marriage: Randy Stoecker The Opportunities & Challenges of Long-Term University Commitment to Community

Dating Brief, low cost, low risk encounters The big question: should you “spend the night?” Moving to the next level: –Follow through –Stability –Deadlines

GoingSteady Going Steady Frequent interaction, separate homes The big question: should you move in together? Moving to the next level: –Long term agreements –Multi-role relationships

Marriage Group marriage: multiple faculty, multiple community groups. Polygamy/polyandry: the academy partners with many communities, or vice versa. Arranged marriage: relationships assigned by administrators or faculty. Shotgun marriage: you get together and produce a grant, that now you have to stay together to care for.

AvoidingDivorce Avoiding Divorce Poor communication Financial problems A lack of commitment to the relationship A dramatic change in priorities Infidelity * American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers

So why do it? The benefits of long-term commitment Access to each others’ networks Access to each others’ resources and ideas The joy of togetherness The enhancement of meaning