Forgiveness A prosocial change A prosocial change Letting go Letting go A choice A choice

“a motivated decision by victims of an offense to let go of their legitimate anger and resentment toward the offender and to evaluate him or her [more] favourably” “a motivated decision by victims of an offense to let go of their legitimate anger and resentment toward the offender and to evaluate him or her [more] favourably”

Factors that can affect whether someone is more or less likely to forgive an offender – –Seriousness of the event – –Your relationship with the person – –Whether they intended to do it or not – –Whether they apologize – –Personality traits (ego strength)

Transgression Repentance Validation Forgiveness

“Yes, I’ve forgiven him because I know that me hating him will not get me anywhere. Hatred will eat you alive.” “Yes, I’ve forgiven him because I know that me hating him will not get me anywhere. Hatred will eat you alive.”

“Being from a small town, people would always say, ‘Well, Angelo didn’t do it,’ or so and so did it, which ever. To hear him say that, it just filled that hole so much.” “Being from a small town, people would always say, ‘Well, Angelo didn’t do it,’ or so and so did it, which ever. To hear him say that, it just filled that hole so much.”

The Apology Act "apology" means an expression of sympathy or regret, a statement that one is sorry or any other words or actions indicating contrition or commiseration, whether or not the words or actions admit or imply an admission of fault in connection with the matter to which the words or actions relate

The positive side Doctors who admit liability/responsibility have lower malpractice payouts Doctors who admit liability/responsibility have lower malpractice payouts Young offenders who did not apologize were three times more likely to reoffend within three years as those who did apologize Young offenders who did not apologize were three times more likely to reoffend within three years as those who did apologize Japan uses a system of apology and pardon, whereby many cases do not even make it to court Japan uses a system of apology and pardon, whereby many cases do not even make it to court Victims can feel validated Victims can feel validated

The negative side Some victims do not want an apology How to tell a sincere apology? Especially if sentence is reduced because of it Can judges ever determine if an apology is genuine?

“How can I lay him to rest within my heart, if I didn’t see him go?…In my struggle with my grief, I would like to know where exactly he died. How it happened… [I]t is very hard, when there are so many things you are not sure about” “How can I lay him to rest within my heart, if I didn’t see him go?…In my struggle with my grief, I would like to know where exactly he died. How it happened… [I]t is very hard, when there are so many things you are not sure about”