Birth Order Why You Are The Way You Are

How Can three or four or even eight little cubs be so different and yet come from the very same den? Yes, there are exceptions to the standard birth order rules but the exceptions are explainable when you understand how birth order works. Birth Order is the science of understanding your place in the family line. Wherever you landed, it has affected your life in countless ways.

Birds of a Feather Flock Together! The first 23 American astronauts sent into outer space, 21 were first borns and the other two were only children. A great number of presidents and pastors are first borns. All presidents have been first born males in their family. (Excellent chances of developing first born traits and functioning as first borns, which undoubtedly helped them be effective in their role of president and leader.

1992 Presidential Campaign Clinton (first born)- suave, confident, loaded with answers, and projected strong leadership ablities Bush (middle child)- used a mediating negotiating style, even while in debate Perot (last born)- hard hitting, outspoken, asked lots of embarrassing questions of his opponents, and often has the audience is stitches

Babies of the family who are known and loved by millions of movie and TV fans  Eddie Murphey  Goldie Hawn  Billy Crystal  Joan Rivers  Leslie Nielson  Danny DeVito  Drew Carey  Jim Carey  Steve Martin  Chevy Chase  Charlie Chaplin Exceptions! Jay Leno is a baby, but both Johnny Carson and David Letterman are middle children, born second of three. Bill Cosby, one of the great comedians of all time, is a first born. Cosby holds a doctorate degree, is a perfectionist. He named all of his children with names beginning with “E” –to remind them to always seek excellence.

Final Examples Newscasters and talk-show hosts on television are often first borns and only children Phil Donahue, Oprah Winfrey, Sonia Friedman, Geraldo Rivera, Arsenio Hall, Sally Jessy Raphael, and Rush Limbaugh Rosie O’Donnell Walter Cronkhite, Peter Jennings,Ted Koppel, and Dan Rather

Variables   Spacing- the number of years between children  Sex of the child- and in what sequence males and females are born   Physical, mental or emotional differences  Sibling deaths- which, if occurring early, cause the child below to be “bumped up” to the next birth order  Adoption- which, may or may not have an effect on birth order, depending on how old the child is when adopted.   Birth order positions of parents- first born parents usually run a much different ship than later born  Relationship between parents- parenting style, and personal values they pass on to their children  “critical eye”- constant criticism takes it toll   Blending of families- in a step family certain birth orders often get stepped on

The Smith Family

When sex differences create someone “special,” it can put pressure on the child immediately above or below that special person The Spencer Family

The Massey Family

Personality and birth order are set after age 5 or 6

First Borns Tend to be conscientious, well organized, serious, goal oriented, achieving, people pleasers, believers in authority Others signs include; perfectionist, reliable, list maker, critical, scholarly, self- sacrificing, conservative, supporter of law and order, legalistic, and self reliant

Two Kinds Of First Borns Compliant Nurtures and Caregivers  Please others  Very reliable  Conscientious  How-can-I-please-you  Good students  Needs Mom & Dads approval  Attract the great white sharks of life The Movers and Shakers  Assertive  Strong willed  High achiever  Hard driver  Set high goals  Badgerlike qualities  The very traits and abilities that enable you to succeed at work, at church, or in other organizations will often work against you in your close personal relationships

Only Child ConfidentArticulate Seemingly on top of things Self-centered The key to understanding an only child is knowing why he or she is an only. Excellent candidates for growing up to be ultra perfectionists

Middle Child Feeling left out IgnoredInsulted Branching off effect Squeezed from above and below Importance of peer group Good mediator Secretive Mentally tough, independent

The Baby Outgoing charmers Personable manipulators Uncomplicated Absent minded CarefreeAffectionateTemperamentalSpoiledImpatient Not taken seriously by family