Elements of conflict 1

DEFINITION Conflict is an expressed struggle between at least two interdependent parties who perceive incompatible goals, scarce rewards and interference from the other party in achieving their goal. 2

Interpersonal Conflict Elements of conflict: An expressed struggle Perceived incompatible goals Perceived scarce rewards Interference Interdependence 3

a)Expressed Struggle Communicative behaviour: Recognises, expresses, experiences and manages Conflict. Conflict identified when one party openly disagrees. Interpersonal struggle can be shown by avoidance. 4

b)Perceived Incompatible Goals Opposing goals are a fact of life. Not all goals are incompatible. 5

c)Perceived Scarce Rewards When rewards are perceived as scarce, an expressed struggle may beinitiated. Some rewards that are scarce or seen as scarce are love, promotion, jobs, respect, care, positions, money, power, self- esteem and land. 6

Perceived Scarce Rewards Love Promotion Jobs Respect Care Positions Money Power Self-esteem Land 7

d)Interference Clarifies for the conflicting parties that the conflict is engaged. Exists because we are interdependent on one another. 8

e)Interdependence Parties engage in expressed struggle and interference because they are interdependent. Each person’s choices affect the other because conflict is a mutual activity. In all conflicts, there are elements of competition and cooperation. 9

Competition and Cooperation. Most relationships move back & forth between degrees of independence & interdependence While still in competition with each other for promotions, they must also have a relationship that enhances desired goals for both of them. At times, there will be an emphasis on “me”, while at other times, “we” - becomes the focus. 10

Scenario 1: Two friends may both be avoiding each other and are aware that they are engaging in avoidance because both think, “I don’t want to see him for a few days because of what he did.” Element of conflict: Expressed struggle 11

Scenario 2: The head cashier of a company said, “All our problems would be solved if we could just get some carpet, since everyone’s feet get tired; we’re the ones who have to stand up all day. But management won’t spend a cent on us.” Her statement of incompatible goals was clear: carpet vs. no carpet. After some probing, another goal emerged. She began to talk about how no one noticed when her staff had done good work and how the “high-ups” only noticed when lines were long and mistakes were made. She then said, “How about some compliments once in a while? No one says anything nice. They don’t even know we’re here.” Her stated goals have changed to include not only the carpet, but self- esteem and increased notice by management – a significant deepening of the goal statement. Both goals are real, carpets and self-esteem. But the first goal may be incompatible with the management’s desire, while the second may not. Element of conflict: Perceived incompatible goals 12

Scenario 3: Close friends often think that if their best friend likes someone else too, then the supply of affection available to the original friend will decrease. This may or may not be so, but the perception that affection is scarce may well create genuine conflict between the friends. Element of conflict: Perceived scarce rewards 13

Scenario 4: Often, children fight with one another over the perceived scarcity of their teacher’s attention. Or they fight with the teacher, resulting in a gain of that resource – attention. The child would rather get negative attention than none at all. Element of conflict: Perceived scarce rewards 14

Scenario 5: You refuse to cooperate with your housemate. Element of conflict: Interference 15

Scenario 6: Your parents do not send you the money you are expecting. Element of conflict: Interference 16

Types of Conflict CONFLICTS arise when opinions, values, expectation or needs differ. They may be: Positive/Constructive Negative/Destructive Depends on how they are managed. 17

List one element of positive/constructive conflict and one of negative/destructive conflict. Positive conflict Encourages change or allows for clarification of ideas. Negative conflict Does not encourage communication and carries with it resentment and stress. 18

BOTH +ve/constructive conflict and –ve/destructive conflict can be classified into four types: Internal External Realistic Unrealistic 19

Internal Conflict Within the individual Needs not met Unable to accept a particular experience or feeling the situation generates Caused by internal emotions 20

External Conflict Between people Can cause incidents with others Misunderstandings and bad feelings Uncomfortable with person(s) concerned 21

Realistic Conflict Can be resolved if parties are willing Can produce positive results Acknowledges opposing interests/needs Realistic conflict management may lead to better relationships 22

Unrealistic Conflict Cannot be resolved since parties are not open to change No room for negotiation Based on differences in values and attitudes Arises from ignorance, traditions and prejudice 23

Activity Work in pairs and share with each other an interpersonal conflict found in one of the following situations: a) In a family b) Between two students c) Between worker and superior 24

Types of Conflict Identify the type of conflict arising from each situation below. Ah Seng and Benny have very different personalities but they manage to work things out. John expects all his colleagues to be meticulous because he is a perfectionist. 25

Types of Conflict Mary and Siew Ling are not on speaking terms because of a small misunderstanding. A job interviewer believes arts students tend to be creative while engineering students tend to be pragmatic. Ali has difficulty explaining to his grandparents the lifestyle of teenagers today. 26

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