Communication Differences Between the Sexes

Socialization affects Communication Patterns Peer groups  girls tend to establish harmony and cooperation  boys tend to establish dominance and power

Socialization affects Communication Patterns In Conversations  Boys value aggressiveness, arguing, storytelling, ostentatious behavior, and tend to dominate conversation  More likely to interrupt

Socialization affects Communication Patterns In Conversations  Girls seek approval, contribute to conversation instead of interrupt, use listening cues, & make use of indirectness (more on this later)

Language Very important in socializing Words are symbols in which we give meanings They do three things 1. Define 2. Describe 3. Evaluate

Language Draw the most typical person w/typical name Language affects women in 3 ways 1.) Ignores Them “Generic he” (Ex: caveman) There is no gender neutral pronoun (only he, she, & it)

Language Only 25% named a female when asked to draw a person so for most of us, the “typical” is male 2.) Defines women Female is defined by relationship she has w/a male Surnames link to father or husband

Language For a female, a name should be a non issue Feminists argue changing your name is a loss of identity Religion of child follows mother so why doesn’t the name? Historically, wife and children were considered property

Language 3.) Deprecates Women - puts them down Names of men & women who get around (player vs. slut) We downplay things that are female such as the male vs. female form of a word Female usually ends in “ess”

Language Example: Governor v. “governess” Study: professors were sent journal articles to rate Were identical except for the name of the author Females were rated less than if male names were on articles Females often use pen names

Patterns of Communication Words hurt and heal How would you feel if you were constantly criticized? Men solve (find solutions) and women process (talk about it) and then solve Females are better at expressing emotion & feelings non-verbally

Non Verbal Skills Social eye contact - how much eye contact you make in a social situation Females look away People who look away seem insecure

Non Verbal Skills 1 male and female volunteer to sit in chair Hold hands Who is leading who? Personal Space - women take up less Body position - females sit in more restrictive posture

Non Verbal Skills (legs crossed) while males sit with legs out Space is status (ex: bigger office, bigger house)

Verbal Skills Female friendships characterized by sharing confidences Male friendships characterized by sharing activities Women value details & express concern & understanding Men are socialized to act, not to be concerned

Verbal Skills When women say “mmhm” they mean “I’m listening” while when men say “mmhm” they mean “I’m agreeing” Women ask questions to maintain a conversation Men ask questions to obtain facts and information

Verbal Skills Masculine - direct or powerful Feminine - indirect, powerless (seem weak or less convincing) Doesn’t matter if a person is a male or female 4 examples of Feminine Speech Patterns

Feminine Speech Patterns 1. Tag Questions - implies passivity It’s asking for validation so shows doubt and weakness EX: “That was a good movie, wasn’t it?” or “Call me back, all right?”

Feminine Speech Patterns 2. Qualifiers - words or phrases that soften a statement EX: “This may be a stupid question but…” 3. Longer request phrases EX: Men to secretary - “Photocopy this for me” while Woman would say to secretary

Feminine Speech Patterns “When you have the time could you please photocopy this for me” 4. Fillers - suggest discomfort with a topic EX: “Ums, ers, ya know, like”