You are getting a divorce. You have 3 kids under the age of 12. How will you handle this? (3-5 sentences) Bell Quiz Day 4 Divorce Reflection #38

Bell Quiz Day 4 Divorce 1. An allowance paid to a person by that person’s former spouse is the definition of: b. Alimony 2. The most common reason for divorce is: b. selfishness 3. The 3 stages a person goes through when coping with divorce are: c. shock, reality, and recovery 4. A 2-5 year old may experience feelings of: a. Abandonment and sleep disturbances 5. Parents can help children adjust to divorce by: d. All of the above

Adult Roles and Financial Literacy Death and Grief Chuckles Goldfinn

Chuckles Goldfinn, age 8 days, died yesterday from over enjoyment during a fish tickling session. Shim is survived by the brothers and sisters of the Adult Roles and Financial Literacy class of Ben Lomond High School. At the time of death, shim was working on the new concept of fish fetching. Shim will be honored for representing our family and bringing us closer together as a class. Shim always hoped to inspire all students to build a strong family. Thank you for all your love and support you’ve shown! Our family greatly appreciates your condolences. Chuckles Goldfinn

Death and Grieving When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced. Live your life in a manner so that when you die the world cries and you rejoice. --Native American Proverb It is a far, far better thing that I do, than anything I have ever done; it is a far, far, better rest that I go to, than I have ever known. -Charles Dickens

Strange as it may seem, death is a part of living. Where did you learn your ideas or views about death? Family Religious beliefs Superstitions Experiences with death Attitude toward life Mental health Media Science

Where do Sparrow’s Go to Die? Writing Situation As you listen to this story pay particular attention to your own emotions and attitudes about death. Also pay attention to the things that come to your mind concerning death. Writing Description In a two paragraph essay discuss your experiences with death. You should discuss any close loses, feelings about death etc. Make sure you use correct english.

Where do Sparrow’s Go to Die?

1.How would you define Death? 2.Why do most people dislike talking and thinking about death? 3.What positive and negative statements could you make about your life thus far? 4.What are some ways people deny that death is part of everyone's life? 5.What do you fear most about dying? 6.How is it possible that there can be disagreement concerning whether or not a person is dead.

Grief The pain, discomfort, mental and physical feeling that most people feel following the death of a loved one. People suffer grief at the loss of anything. It doesn’t just have to be death.

Using the supplies, create your own headstone. Be creative! Create Your Own Headstone

Grieving Process

Denial

In this stage we refuse to believe what has happened. We try in our mind to tell ourselves that life is as it was before our loss. We can even make believe to an extent by re enacting rituals that we used to go through with our loved one.

We set an extra plate at the table. We expect them to be there when we get home. We flash back to memories and conversations. These are all part of this stage.

Anger

Anger We get angry. The anger can manifest itself in many ways. We blame others for our loss. We become easily agitated having emotional outbursts. We can even become angry at ourselves.

Care must be taken here not to turn the anger inwards. Release of this anger is essential!

Bargaining

Bargaining can be with ourselves or if you are religious with your god. Often we will offer something to try to take away the reality of what really happened. We may try to make a deal, to have our loved one back as they were before the tragic event occurred. It is only human to want things back as they were before.

Depression

Depression Depression is a very likely outcome for all people that grieve for a loss. This is the most difficult of the stages to deal with. There can be a feeling of listness and tiredness. Outbursts of tears may occur.

You may feel like there is no purpose to your life anymore. You may feel like you are being punished. Pleasure and joy may be difficult to express. There may even be thoughts of suicide. If you at any time in this stage, feel like doing yourself harm, professional counseling should be sought.

Acceptance

This is the final stage of grief. It happens when you know that you have to go on. You can accept your loss and now be able to regain your energy and goals for the future. It may take some time to get to this stage..but you will get there!

Many people find the thought of their own death very frightening. As a result, the majority of people try to avoid thinking about the possibility of their death. Every person must die eventually. To avoid ever thinking about your own death is to avoid facing an event that ultimately must happen. Write and obituary/eulogy using the form given to you. Eulogy/Obituary

Coping with Crisis

Physical Reactions

Numbness Unfeeling Pain Tired Can’t Sleep Tightness in Throat Disinterest in Eating

Emotional Reactions

Stabbing Pain Sudden Anger Sense of Unfairness Feeling of Relief Anger Guilt Hostility Anxiety Gladness Fear

Mourning Process

Shock Occurs between the time of death and time of the final arrangements. During “Shock” one may even deny that the death has occurred.

Intense Feeling of Loss/Pain Usually occurs two to three months after the loss. The bereaved person may withdraw from the world.

Resolution One starts living a regular life.

Anticipatory Grief The mourning process that occurs prior to death in cases of terminal illnesses.

The Four Basic Needs of the Bereaved

1.Companionship

2. Ventilation of Feelings

3. TIME

4. Time Alone

What are some appropriate things to say to the bereaved? "IT'S OKAY TO CRY," "I JUST WANTED YOU TO KNOW I AM THINKING ABOUT YOU."

What should you avoid saying to the bereaved? "CHEER UP,“ " TIME WILL HEAL ALL WOUNDS," "HE/SHE IS BETTER OFF," "IT WAS GOD'S WILL," "CALL ME IF YOU NEED ME."

Some ways to express condolences. DONATION TO A FAVORITE CHARITY, PERSONAL LETTER, FLOWERS, PHONE CALL, GIFT OF MONEY, GIFT OF FOOD, VISIT, AND ASSISTANCE SUCH AS MOWING THE LAWN, COOKING MEALS, DOING LAUNDRY, BABY SITTING, MAKING PHONE CALLS, ETC.

What is the purpose of a memorial service, funeral, or visitation? WITHOUT FUNERALS AND VISITATION, THE PROCESS OF COMING TO ACCEPT THE DEATH OF A LOVED ONE WOULD, FOR MANY, NEVER BE COMPLETE. FUNERALS ALLOW FOR THE OPEN CARING, GRIEVING, AND EXPRESSING THAT THE HUMAN ANIMAL SEEMS TO NEED TO REORDER LIFE AND RETURN TO ROUTINE LIVING.

Now that you have the information and have read some children’s books about the topics, write a book for a child. Fold the paper to make a book: Fold your paper hot dog style Unfold it and fold it hamburger style Now fold it hot dog style again Unfold it and cut fold to next line Unfold the hole thing Now fold in hot dog again Holding both ends push them towards the middle Muwa! Let the ends kiss and now we have a 4 page book. Crisis Management Book

Choose one of the 3 topics and create a book that would help a child in these situations. Use your information from your Study Guide and examples in the books to help you. Make sure you use your creativity! Use all your resources to do your best! This will be turned in with your study guide on April 27 th ! DON’T FORGET TO BRING A CUP FOR YOUR CELEBRATION ON WEDNESDAY! Crisis Management Book Cont.

Step Mom 16 – Kids told of mother’s cancer. End when Anna runs upstairs. 27 – How each child reacts differently to death. End after the second child’s gift and talking.

Summary In the past, people were born and died at home with their families nearby. Most people died in their own beds. Death was considered a natural part of the life cycle. Today most deaths occur in hospitals; the dying are often surrounded by medical personnel instead of family members. Death has become a remote subject that many people avoid discussing. Coping with crisis may is a necessary skill that will be required of all people at various times in their lives.

The caterpillar dies so the butterfly could be born. And, yet, the caterpillar lives in the butterfly and they are but one. So, when I die, it will be that I have been transformed from the caterpillar of earth to the butterfly of the universe. -- John Harricharan