Relationship Choices Developing effective interpersonal skills that demonstrate responsibility, respect and caring in order to establish and maintain healthy interactions.

Today we will… analyze how thinking patterns influence feelings; for example: positive thinking, all or nothing thinking, overgeneralization, perfectionism. analyze the need for short-term and long-term support for emotional concerns; e.g., family, friends, schools, professionals.

Thinking Patterns What are thinking patterns? Do we have positive thinking patterns? Negative?

Let’s think… What would you say to yourself in these situations: Winning a race Losing something Achieving a goal Falling out with a friend Not doing well on a test Doing well on a test

Always think positive…

Positive Thinking What does positive thinking mean?

Positive Thinking Thinking about things that are beneficial, whether it is thoughts, images, words, etc. Affects how you feel and act What are some examples of positive thinking?

All or Nothing Thinking What does all or nothing thinking mean?

All or Nothing Thinking Thinking in extremes; you are either a success or failure Causes anxiety, depression, anger Fight or flight response; make a snap decision, no maybes. Can be both good and bad Often an irrational and exaggerated response Can you think of an example of this type of thinking?

Overgeneralization What does overgeneralization mean?

Overgeneralization Taking an isolated thought/event and broadly generalizing about it. A thinking pattern where one failure is viewed as one more example of a pattern of defeat. Problematic thought process.

Perfectionism What is perfectionism?

Perfectionism A personality trait in which you strive for flawlessness and setting excessively high performance standards

Negative Thinking What is negative thinking?

Negative Thinking Thought process where you tend to find the worst in everything, or lower your expectations by considering the worst possible scenario

value kindness in their peers and express appreciation for acts of kindness practice kindness in their peer relationships practice kindness in their relationships with mentors and significant adults recognize that it’s okay when things don’t go their way recognize the positives in their circumstances share their dreams and passions with parents, trusted adults and friends pursue an interest that both challenges and provides a sense of accomplishment (develop a hobby, learn to play a musical instrument, get involved in orienteering) participate in activities that provide assistance to others seek out individuals who exhibit hopeful behaviours and positive attitudes.

Journal Time Use one of the following sentence starters to write a paragraph about what we have talked about: “I control my own thoughts by …” − “To think positive, I say to myself …” − “Positive thinking helps me …” − “Negative thinking gets in the way of …” − “To overcome negative thinking I need to …” Don’t just finish the sentence. Tell me how positive thinking helps you, apply what we have talked about today to your life. What can you improve on? How do you feel when you think positive/negative?

Today we will… analyze the need for short-term and long-term support for emotional concerns; e.g., family, friends, schools, professionals.

When We Need Support What is an example of a time when we might need support during a difficult time?

Who can we turn to in situations like that? Who have you been able to turn to in difficult situations?

Local Sources of Support Parents Siblings Aunts/Uncles Cousins Family friends Friends Mentor

Other Sources of Support School STAY officer (School Team Advisors for Youth) Community personnel (psychologist, counselor)

Psychologist Professional who evaluates and studies behavior and mental processes

So How Can You Get Support? What are steps you can take to get the support that you need? Is is always easy to ask for help and tell people how you feel?

Not Getting Support Is is a good thing to keep everything bottled up?

Long Term Support When would be a situation where we would need long term support?

Short Term Support When would be a time when we need short term support?

Asking for Help What can you say when you need to ask for help? What can you say to someone who tells you they are going through something difficult? What can you do if you don’t know what to say?

What if… You just moved to a new city, and are finding it really difficult to keep up in school and make friends

What if… Someone close to you passed away, what can you do?

What if… You have trouble keeping up at school and aren’t doing well in a few subjects

What if… Your family is going through a difficult time, and you are feeling very sad all the time

What if… You and your friends are fighting, and they decide they don’t want to be friends with you

Stress Stress is the body’s response to anything that makes us feel threatened or pressured. It is caused by any kind of demand to which we must adapt, adjust, or respond. It is the body’s automatic way of reacting to changes, challenges, and demands placed on us. Based on this definition, has anyone experienced stress?

Stress in Relationships What can cause stress in relationships?

Causes of stress There are lots of things that can cause stress in our lives, and two major ones are change and loss. Our reactions to these things can change from person to person, and can vary for many reasons. Finding ways to cope and adjust to change and loss is very important for adolescents

Dealing with Stress Sometimes dealing with stressors like death may be reacting in ways such as: Unexpected emotional intensity and confusion Avoid the reality of it with denial and withdrawal May turn to a group of friends for support

Stress in relationships is a universal experience. Understanding your own experience and learning healthy ways to cope with stress is important. This allows growth and development of self and proper stress management.

Behavior Signs of Grief irritability fatigue, lack of energy absent-mindedness, inability to concentrate sleep disturbances, inability to sleep or early morning awakenings, dreams about deceased poor appetite or overeating lack of interest in other activities, lack of friends social withdrawal from others low energy or fatigue depression inability to make decisions crying, sometimes uncontrollably little or no emotion or reaction makes jokes or continues normal play as a distraction overreaction to minor issues

Emotional Signs shock and numbness mood swings irritability depression and loneliness anger, often masked or misdirected guilt, especially in children who feel they may have caused or contributed to the death anxiety poor concentration poor memory feelings of powerlessness low feelings of self-worth relief, if illness leading to death was painful or lengthy feelings of guilt and shame feelings of hopelessness

Physical Signs Physical signs weight gain or loss tension headaches back pain digestive upsets dizziness tightness in chest oversensitivity to noise irregular heartbeat, palpitations tightness in throat rashes weakness in muscles frequent colds.

Draw an outline of a plant; include leaves, stem, roots and the flower Then, draw weeds around the plant Express how you feel about a certain loss in your life by answering these questions beside each part of the plant: Roots. Who has anchored me in the past? How have my previous experiences helped me learn about loss? Weeds. What is holding me back or clouding my view? Stem. What supports me? Leaves. What are my sources of nourishment? Flower. When I accept this loss, how will I change or grow?