Spirit Led Family Groups (DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE) Bangkok Christian Church Leadership Training Class 1 Romans 12 Author: Dr. Rick Brinkman Cesar Lopez Dr. Rick Kirschner

Bible Gives the Answer What Does The Bible Say About Dealing With Difficult People? What should our motive be when dealing with anyone? What quality is needed when dealing with difficult people? How do you deal with anyone who needs to be always right? Take advantage? Angry? What is the key to living in peace with difficult people?

ABOUT THE AUTHORS Dr. Rick Brinkman & Dr. Rick Kirschner are professional speakers. Co – authors of the bestselling audio-video tapes and book How to Deal with Difficult People and the best selling book Dealing with People You Can’t Stand. They have shared their insights with audiences worldwide through their company R & R Productions. Dr. R Brinkman Dr. R Kirschner

ABOUT THE BOOK Identify ten bothersome behaviors Deal successfully with each of them Understand the thought and fears of difficult people An understanding of whom we are dealing with and what motivates them Turn conflict into cooperation and opportunity

DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE THE TANK THE KNOW IT ALL THE WHINER THE SNIPER THE THINK THEY KNOW IT ALL THE THINK THEY KNOW IT ALL THE MAYBE PERSON THE MAYBE PERSON THE GRENADE THE YES PERSON THE NOTHING PERSON THE NO PERSON

CHOOSE YOUR APPROACH CHOOSE YOUR APPROACH 1. Stay and do nothing 2. Vote with your feet 3. Change your attitude 4. Change your behavior

UNDERSTAND THE FOUR INTENTS  Four general intents that determine how people will react in any situation: Get the task done. Get the task right. Get along with people. Get appreciation from people.

UNDERSTAND THE FOUR INTENT  GET IT DONE THE TANK THE SNIPER THE KNOW IT ALL  GET ALONG THE NOTHING PERSON THE YES PERSON THE MAYBE PERSON  GET IT RIGHT THE WHINER THE NO PERSON THE NOTHING PERSON  GET APPRECIATED THE GRENADE THE FRIENDLY SNIPER THE THINK THEY KNOW – IT - ALL

RECOGNIZE THE RESULTS OF THREATENED INTENTS PEACE ZONE TASK FOCUS PEOPLE FOCUS GET IT DONE GET IT RIGHT GET ALONG GET APPRECIATED PASSIVEAGGRESSIVE PERFECTIONISTCONTROLLING APPROVAL SEEKING ATTENTION GETTING

THE TANK 1. Stand your ground 3. Interrupt 4. Don’t defend, explain, or justify 5. Aim at a “Bottom Line” 6. Peace with Honor

THE SNIPER 1. Stop, Look, & Backtrack 2. Ask the “Relevancy” question 3. Distinguish between friendly sniper & malicious sniper 4. If he/she will talk -- LISTEN! 5. Suggest a friendly future Don’t overreact

THE KNOW-IT-ALL 1. Be prepared and know your stuff 2. Don’t resent the Know – It - All 3. Present views politely 5. Acknowledge his/her competence

THE THINK THEY KNOW IT ALL 1. Give them a little attention 2. Ask for specifics 3. State facts as you know them 4. Provide a way out 5. Handle alone whenever possible

THE WHINER 1. Listen 2. Prepare to interrupt – get specific 3. Acknowledge the complaint 4. Don’t ask Whiners why they’re complaining 5. Use limiting responses 6. Move to problem solving

THE MAYBE PERSON 1. Help them voice concerns 2. Provide face-to-face support when possible 3. Use a decision – making process 4. Re – assure and follow through

THE YES PERSON Make the Yes Person comfortable Talk Honestly Help them learn to plan Ensure commitment

THE NOTHING PERSON Plan enough time Lighten it up Avoid getting angry Show the future

THE GRENADE Get the attention Show your concerns Reduce intensity Avoid setting off the Grenade

THE NO PERSON Go with the flow Use them as a resource Give them time to think Appreciate the NO person

CONCLUSION Even if we can’t change difficult people, we can communicate with them in such a way that they change themselves. It’s a matter of knowing how to get through to them when they’re behaving badly.