1. Self-Awareness as a Tool for Effective and Peaceful Communication

2. Imagine a difficult confrontation or exchange that you have experienced recently. In your notes, jot down as many details as possible, answering the following questions: What happened? How were you feeling? How did you handle the situation? What was the result? How did you feel about the result?

3. Now, imagine the same situation, but change the story you have about the person or situation. For instance, the person you were dealing with was afraid, embarassed, upset about the situation and was in need of help, etc. How does that change your feelings? How might you handle it now that you feel more in control?

4. Undesirable behaviour is often generated by anxiety (or other feelings), which, in turn, is the result of unmet needs.

5. Dragons Are Made, Not Born What you tell yourself about the situation (or the person) will determine how you feel. If you are imagining that the person in front of you who is yelling, angry, being rude, etc. is angry with you, then you are likely to feel defensive and respond in kind. Fear makes people behave badly, so in dealing with difficult situations, managing fear (your own and that of others) is of the utmost priority.

6. Since you have more control over yourself than anyone else, managing your own anxiety will help you to deal effectively with the person in front of you. What you are telling yourself about the situation (or the person) will to a great extent determine how you feel. Dragons are affected by body language – your tone of voice, facial expression and gestures can contribute to the difficult situation or help calm it down. Dragons respond to genuine concern conveyed by a reasonable tone and words.

7. Using MBTI type awareness also helps to understand what might be contributing to difficulties in communication. We all perceive and experience things differently. It is important to be able to look within yourself and ask what YOU are contributing to your conversations and interactions with others.

8. Using MBTI to Communicate Effectively By using your own awareness of type differences you can increase your effectiveness by speaking the “type language" of the receiver. Communication in difficult situations is all about strategy.

9. Communicating with Dragons (or anyone, for that matter) There are two essential skills for effective communication: 1)THE ABILITY TO LISTEN IMPECCABLY in order to demonstrate that you understand the thoughts, feelings, and needs of others. Once individuals feel that they have been understood, they often calm down. This will de-escalate the situation and you can get on to problem solving. 2)THE ABILITY TO ARTICULATE YOUR OWN POSITION CLEARLY AND DIRECTLY, and having the awareness of self to accurately report thoughts, feelings, ideas and preferences. This skill ensures that you set boundaries as to how people treat you.