1. Happy Grams! Follow the directions.

2. At the Beach Eighner: Do you not see all of this treasure? How could anyone waste all of these precious items? Ghandi: I agree. How could anyone trash such a beautiful beach? This trash will hurt all of the animals. Edna: The trash will hurt the bird! It will come crashing into the water! Eighner: Let’s collect the treasure and sell it! Ghandi: Yes! Helping make the world a better place one step at a time. Edna: No one cares about the beaches! I want to leave and be on my own!

3. Offering Career Counseling Eighner: Going to college is essential- so I can get your scraps. Kurtz: Don’t go to college. It is not going to help you import ivory. Barbara: Without college, you’ll be stuck working at a diner the rest of your life. Kurtz: I didn’t need college. Look at me, I’m famous. Eighner: If you don’t go to college, everyone is going to be homeless and there’ll be no scraps and everyone will die! Barbara: If you don’t get a good job you’ll have to eat a Wendy’s chicken sandwich in two seconds and you can’t even chew it.

4. Opening Gifts Ms. Hankins: Mr. Swift, I knitted this sweater for you! Johnathan S: Oh, it is a rhetorical triangle sweater! Can I eat it? Ms. Hankins: After you finish your vocab and current event! Mary Jo: What about me? I’ve been working all day! Ms. Hankins: Don’t worry, you can find your gift on the wonderful class website. Mary Jo: A Walmart gift card?! ……..Thanks. Johnathan S: I got these for both of you. I hope it solves all your problems. Ms. Hankins: Oh, a fork and a knife! What a modest proposal! Mary Jo: Sorry I couldn’t get you anything. I don’t get paid till next week. Johnathan: I’m hungry- when do we eat?

5. More Gifts Eighner: You guys didn’t have to get me anything. I have everything I need, and it doesn’t cost a thing! Barbara: Please accept this! I worked really hard to pay for it! Taylor Swift: Oh no! That reminds me of John! I hate him! (sobbing) Eighner: I found something like this last week at the college dorms! But thanks anyway. Barbara: Wow, thanks Eighner, I really needed this booze to get me through my week of work. Taylor: This reminds me of when we went to a Christmas party! I’m gonna write a new song about it!

6. Waiting to See Santa: Mary Jo (in elf costume): I don’t get paid enough for this. Marlow (in Santa costume): Come here child. What do you want for the Yuletide season? Don Thompson: Less strict USDA regulations and a lower minimum wage. Mary Jo: Excuse me? You try and survive on this! Don: It’s your fault you can’t get a better job! Marlow: Children, children… Mary Jo: Get over here! (Don and Mary Jo start fighting) Marlow: If only I was back in Africa…

7. At a Dinner Party Edna: I don’t know why I have to be at this dinner party with all of this nasty food. Look, even Eighner is digging in the trash already for something better. Eighner: Yeah, because the food in the trash is good and you guys are just wasting all of it. Johnathan Swift: Edna, why don’t your kids join us for dinner? Edna: So just because I’m a female, I have to take care of the kids? Johnathan: It would be such a…treat…if they could join us. Eighner: Yeah, they are definitely missing out on the good stuff. Edna: I think I’ll just move away and you all can deal with the kids. Johnathan: Deal!

8. Quiz

9. Seminar