1. Introduction Proverbs and Other Texts

2.  Training Your Child to Obey  Dealing with Rebellion  Training in Righteousness  Aiming for the Heart

3.  Last week we pointed out that as a parent, you are always training your child, even if you are not teaching him “in the way he should go” (according to God’s standards). * J. Richard Fugate, What the Bible Says About Child Training

4.  Last week we also showed that sometimes, even parents who attempt to instruct their child in good behavior, end up unintentionally training their child to disobey them by the way they allow their child to react to their instructions. * J. Richard Fugate, What the Bible Says About Child Training

6.  A child can be trained to give an excuse for disobedience or wrongdoing.  It is a law of human nature that if you ask for an excuse, you will get one. In fact, you are likely to receive one whether you ask for it or not. Excuses are attempts to share, or avoid altogether, the responsibility for wrongdoing.  Parents who ask their child why he disobeyed or did something wrong may be attempting to understand the reason. However the reason why is not nearly as important as the fact of the deed.  Only after a child’s guilt has been firmly established as fact should the parents attempt to analyze the reason. The reason why does not alter the fact of the guilt.

7.  A child can be trained to give an excuse for disobedience or wrongdoing.  One of the reasons parents ask for an excuse is because they inwardly want the child to have one. They hope there is sufficient justification to prevent any need for an unpleasant confrontation.  Sometimes parents look for excuses for their child’s misbehavior in order to protect their own pride. If a child’s action can be excused, then the parents can deceive themselves into not accepting any responsibility for the child’s poor training.

9.  In conclusion, negative training results when parents tolerate their child’s bad behavior and thereby (inadvertently) train him to not follow their instructions.  Was anyone surprised at the idea that, as parents, we are always training our children and that those who do not train their children to be obedient are, in effect, training their children to be disobedient?  Please share an example with the class where you or someone that you have observed responded to their child’s disobedience in a way that trained that child to continue in their disobedience.

10.  So now we come back to our verse:  Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it. (Proverbs 22:6)  When it comes to teaching a child obedience, we’ve seen that it is all too easy to train up a child in the way he should not go.  Now we want to look at how we go about training up a child in the way that he should go (when it comes to obedience).

11.  Ginger Plowman in her book, Don’t Make Me Count to Three, makes what I believe to be a sound biblical case that God wants our children to obey us (and Him):  All the way  Right Away  With a Happy Heart

12.  Obeying “All the way”.  The Bible states that obedience must be complete. God demonstrates the importance of complete obedience through the life of King Saul in 1 Samuel 15. God told Saul to completely destroy the Amalekites, including their livestock. Saul got to thinking what a waste it would be to kill all the livestock, so he took it upon himself to keep a few. After the battle, Samuel questioned King Saul by asking if he had fully obeyed God’s command… Saul tried to justify his disobedience by stating he was only saving them to offer as sacrifices to God. But Samuel relied, “To obey is better than sacrifice.” As a consequence of King Saul’s lack of complete obedience, the kingdom was taken from him.

13.  Obedience Should Be Right Away.  Delayed obedience is disobedience  A child should be trained to respond promptly the first time a parent gives a command. The parent should not have to yell, threaten, or repeat instructions in order to achieve obedience. The command … should be … spoken in a normal tone of voice and only one time.  The consequences of delayed obedience are seen in the life of Jonah. God told Jonah to go to Nineveh. In the end Jonah did go. But the consequences of his delayed obedience put his life and the life of many others in great spiritual and physical danger.

14.  Obedience Should Be With A Joyful Heart.  God requires not only outward obedience, but also inward obedience.  Happiness and contentment are heart choices. Children can choose to obey with a happy heart. Parents must guide them in doing so.  Right attitudes are not issues of emotions. They are issues of the will, which means a child can choose to be happy and content. And God has called him to do this:  Do all things without grumbling or disputing  Do all things without grumbling or disputing, (Philippians 2:14 ESV)  Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you  Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you (1Thes. 5:16-18 ESV)

15.  Obedience Should Be With A Joyful Heart.  Children should be allowed to come and freely talk about their thoughts and feelings and ask questions, but this should be done with a pleasant tone of voice and with an attitude of respect.  A child with a disrespectful attitude might say, “Why do you have to give me a ridiculous bedtime of 8:00?” A child who wants to address this issue respectfully might ask, “Now that I am nine years old, could we discuss my bedtime?”