1. 1 Interview Skills for Attorneys and Other Child Support Professionals CSDA Annual Conference 2008

2. 2 Presented by: Terry Symens-Bucher --Supervising Attorney, Alameda County Carlota Serna --Deputy Counsel, Orange County

3. 3 Overview Set context Explain the basic model Do the work with a partner – Demonstrate – Re-play – Re-script – Reflect Conclusion

4. 4 Personal goal Increase your enjoyment of difficult interviews by making it more likely your needs will be met.

5. 5 Personal Goal What will increase your enjoyment of difficult interviews? Decrease your level of stress through awareness of your personal power and choice.

6. 6 Stress Blood pressure up Heart rate up Breathing rapid and shallow Immune system compromised Cholesterol up Stomach acid up Muscle tension

7. 7 Professional Goal: Trust and Confidence in the California Courts: A Survey of the Public and Attorneys --released in 2005 by the Judicial Council Finding: What had the greatest impact on public trust and confidence in the justice system-- Outcome or Procedural fairness?

8. 8 Answer: Procedural fairness Defined as— Being treated with respect Being listened to Having one’s case individually considered

9. 9 Seven definitions Interview Difficult interview Successful interview Power A difficult person Needs Strategies

10. 10 We will identify The cause our feelings The source of our conflicts

11. 11 Five key differentiations Observations v. interpretations Stimulus v. cause Needs v. strategies Strategies v. goals Needs-based choices v. moralistic judgments

12. 12 And one Basic assumption about human behavior

13. 13 Interview skills Skills—behaviors that can be learned An Interview is not the following: Examination Interrogation Negotiation Mediation Arbitration Or Conversation

14. 14 An Interview is: A temporary role-based relationship established and maintained for mutual exchange of information.

15. 15 Resources Nonviolent Communication and Speaking Peace in a World of Conflict --by Marshall B. Rosenberg, Ph.D. Loving What Is --by Byron Katie Fierce Conversations by Susan Scott

16. 16 Websites Bay Area Nonviolent Communication http://www.baynvc.org/ http://www.baynvc.org/ The Center for Nonviolent Communication http://www.cnvc.org/ http://www.cnvc.org/

17. 17 Difficult Interviews What characterizes a difficult interview?

18. 18 Share and Reflect Share A difficult interview for me is when… Reflect What I heard is that a difficult interview for you is when…

19. 19 Definition: A difficult interview challenges my ability to stay self-connected and makes it less likely my needs will be met in the situation.

20. 20 Albert Einstein (paraphrased) No problem can be solved by the same consciousness that created it.

21. 21 The successful interview: Gets the information I need to move the case to the next appropriate step

22. 22 The successful interview: is characterized by CHOICE

23. 23 Choice depends upon: SELF-CONNECTION

24. 24 Observation v. Interpretation Be careful the tale you tell, That is the spell… --Stephen Sondheim From the musical Into The Woods

25. 25 The Way to Self-Connection Observe Don’t believe everything you think

26. 26 Thoughts Shoulds Have to’s Judgments Labels Diagnosis Evaluations Interpretations

27. 27 Share and Reflect Share When I see/hear _____ I feel: Reflect When you see/hear ______ you feel:

28. 28 Self-connection review Self-connection (awareness) leads to choice. Choice gives us power. Power is the ability to marshal internal and external resources to meet our needs.

29. 29 Some external resources Time Health Education Friends Information Money Social support

30. 30 Some internal resources Attitude (self-talk) Our level of self-connection Awareness of choice Ability to function with unmet needs Capacity to make choices in the face of fear Being present to another’s anger w/o hearing criticism, blame, shame or guilt

31. 31 A difficult person is --a person who presents me with trigger(s) that are beyond my current ability to remain self-connected.

32. 32 Key Differentiation Stimulus v. Cause

33. 33 Source of our feelings: Our feelings are caused by our needs being met or unmet, fulfilled or unfulfilled.

34. 34 Out beyond ideas of wrong-doing and right-doing there is a field. I will meet you there. --Rumi 13 th Century Sufi poet

35. 35 Basic Assumption: All human behavior is an attempt to meet needs.

36. 36 Needs are Shared by all people The source of our feelings

37. 37 Key differentiation: Needs v. Strategies

38. 38 Needs v. Strategies A strategy is a plan to meet my needs that requires a particular person, place, time, or thing.

39. 39 Needs v. Strategies Needs are universal to all humans and can be met by strategies limited only by our imagination.

40. 40 Source of Conflict Conflict arises at the level of strategies not at the level of needs

41. 41 Share When I see/hear _____ I want: Reflect When you see/hear _____ you want:

42. 42 Unmet needs How can I get my unmet needs in this situation met?

43. 43 Key Differentiation Strategies v. Goals

44. 44 Strategies Are more likely to meet our needs when they are: – Concrete – Specific – Do-able

45. 45 Key differentiation Needs-based v. moralistic judgments

46. 46 Conclusion Goal: to increase your enjoyment of challenging interviews by making it more likely your needs are met.

47. 47 Seven definitions Interview Challenging interview Successful interview Power A difficult person Needs Strategies

48. 48 We identified The cause our feelings The source of our conflicts

49. 49 Five key differentiations Observations v. interpretations Stimulus v. cause Needs v. strategies Strategies v. goals Needs-based choices v. moralistic judgments

50. 50 And One Basic assumption about human behavior