1. Learning Target: 1. Students will revise and edit their analytical essay for A Separate Peace. Language Objective: Students will use a revising and editing guide to revise and edit their analytical paragraph for A Separate Peace. Success Criteria: 1. I can write a thematic statement. 2. I can identify specific writing decisions made by the author. 3. I can explain the significance of the author’s writing choice. 4. I can explain how the writing choice develops the theme. Agenda: 1. Revise and Edit Analytical Paragraph

2. Introduction  In two to three sentences, write a synopsis of the story. Only include the most significant plot points pertaining to your theme. Do not give a full plot summary.  Make sure your brief synopsis naturally leads the reader into the thesis (element of setting & thematic statement).  Should reference the title of the work and the author  Title should be italicized or underlined  End with the thesis statement.

3. Thesis Statement  Should be the last sentence of your introduction.  Should include the element(s) of setting your essay focuses on.  Should include a thematic statement.  Conveys the author’s message about the subject  Implies message rather than directly stating it  Applies to the work but is not about the work  Expressed in a complete sentence  Is a universal statement  Is never an absolute statement  Is never written in first or second person

4. Analysis Paragraphs  First sentence should state how the element of setting resulted in a conflict and how these develop the theme of the novel.  Each topic sentence in each analytical paragraph should explain a different way the element of setting develops the theme.  Provide textual evidence to support thesis statement.  For each paragraph, you should provide 2-4 pieces of evidence.  Evidence should be embedded and properly cited.  Look at the sentences surrounding your quotes. Are you explaining what happened in the story? If you are, this is summary. Delete it.  You must break down your quote to show how the textual evidence supports your thematic statement.  What writing decision is the author making (diction, syntax, tone, mood) in the quote offered?  Why is the author making those decisions in describing the element of setting? Why is it significant to the text and overall theme?  How do the writer’s decisions for element of setting develop the theme of the novel?  Your last sentence(s) should relate the entire paragraph back to your thematic statement.

5. Textual Evidence  Each quote should be embedded in a sentence that gives the context for the quote.  Instead of saying:  On page twenty-four Knowles writes that Gene “[has] a moment of total, impersonal panic, and then Finny’s hand shot out and grabbed [his] arm” (Knowles 24).  Say something like:  As Gene is preparing to jump, he experiences “a moment of total, impersonal panic” as he loses his balance (Knowles 24).  Citations should be at the end of the sentence before the punctuation. See above as an example.

6. Revamping Analytical Verbs  Look for the phrases “This shows…” or “The Quote shows/proves that…”  Use one of descriptive verbs listed here or on the next slide  Ex: Conveys Reveals Suggests Demonstrates Implies

7. The author conveys an idea, a theme. The author presentsan issue by The author portrays ______ through _______ The author delineatesa character’s values, attitude, etc. The author depicts ____through _____ The author asserts that… The author claims that… The author indicates that… The author reveals that… The author emphasizes that… The author underscores the importance of an idea by… The author implies that… The author suggests that…

8. Replacing Redundant Words  Reread the entire essay. Is there a word or phrase that is being repeated over and over again?  Is there a word that is low level or simple vocabulary such as “good,”“happy,” “better,” etc.  If so, refer to a thesaurus. Use synonyms to add sophisticated diction.

9. Concluding Paragraph Your conclusion should answer the following questions: What is the significance of the novel as a whole? What about the message of the novel makes the novel applicable in today’s society? Overall, you want to make an outside connection of this novel to your world today.

10. Editing  Check your heading. Does it follow MLA format?  Name  Teacher Name  Class  Date (November 2015)  Check your title. If it is underlined, bolded, or in a larger font, make corrections.  Is your paper double-spaced? Are there gaps between paragraphs?  Is your font Times New Roman and size 12?  Are your paragraphs indented using the ‘tab’ button?

11. I’M DONE! WHAT NOW?!  PROOFREAD AGAIN! You can never do this too many times, I promise.  Ask a friend to proofread. A fresh set of eyes can catch mistakes yours missed. Upload final draft to turnitin.com